Life Goes On

I've been in touch with many of the people who offered their sympathies on my mother's passing, but there may be some of you I've missed, who've wondered how I've been.

It's four weeks today since her death, and life does indeed, go on. My sister has just become a step-granny! A beautiful baby girl has entered this world, and we welcome her!

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It has seemed strange to me at times over these weeks that there can be such a depth of sadness, such a sense of loss, so many tears, and yet, at the same time, we can be laughing, enjoying music or a poem, but this is just as my mother would have wanted it. She didn't dwell at length on instructions about when she died, but two things she did make very clear were that (1) she didn't want any artificial flowers on her grave. [That was so well-known, that we didn't even need to tell people. Of the 50+ wreaths and bouquets that came, none had a hint of anything artificial about them]; and (2) that we (my sisters and I) were not to wear black after her funeral. Some of my aunts wore mourning for a long, long, time after my grandmother's death, and my mother told us we were not to do that for her. She loved to see us in bright, cheerful colours, and that is what she would want. I have a good deal of black in my wardrobe, but when I wear it, it's just because it's there, and not because I'm in mourning.

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My mother would want us to get on with our lives, to have fun, to enjoy the good things in the world, as she did.

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I've posted the SoulCollage® card that my sister made just a couple of weeks prior to Mam's death. She's there at various stages in her life - prior to her marriage; on her wedding-day; as a young mother (I'm the baby on her lap in the upper right); and as the mother of a growing family. This card is a lovely mememto, and my father has been greatly comforted by it, with its reminders of all those times.

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I really have appreciated all the kind words, the thoughts and prayers that you have sent my way in these weeks. So many people have shared their own stories of loss and bereavement, and offered their wisdom about the need to be gentle with myself. I'm listening, and taking that to heart. Thank you all.

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She would have been so happy to hear about the new baby entering our extended family today.

The Magical SoulCollage Slipper and the Weekend just past.

Would you like to see some of what I've been doing this weekend? Go look at my SoulFragments blog to see one thing! I'll be back this evening to fill you in more fully!

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Now it's late, late Tuesday night in fact (Grey's Anatomy new season - (probably WAY behind wherever it's at on the other side of the Atlantic) started with a double episode and even though I've been watching very, very little TV over the past 6 weeks or so, that's one I had to watch). So... the weekend past was a weekend with family. I drove the 6-hour drive (taking the slow, coast-road through the Burren) on Friday afternoon to go spend that evening with my two sisters at M's seaside house. We had a great dinner together, and a late-night walk by the sea, and caught up. I slept the best sleep with the sound of the sea lulling me, and woke to glorious sunshine and birdsong.


On Saturday, I spent the day at my other sister, A's house, offering a SoulCollage(R) workshop to seven friends and family-members. Aged from fourteen to fifty, they all enjoyed the day, snipping images from magazines, piecing together something new, something that reflected an aspect of the individual's life or personality, some interest or energy. We had a great lunch out on the deck, and wound up the day by each introducing one of the cards we'd made. Plans were made to form a group that will continue meeting to make cards together and work with the process. That thills me.


That evening, I got to visit my mother, and stayed with my Dad. They're 85 and almost-86. There is no communication possible any more with my Mum. Of course, we talk to her, but she isn't able to respond. She seldom seems to be aware of our presence. I miss her.


On Sunday, I saw my brother and spent time with my younger niece and nephew, and their new puppy. Isn't she a cutie? That's Chloe.
On Monday, it was time to head for home again, but I got to go visit my other brother en route, to see his two boys too (and get cuddles!), to catch up with visiting friends, to share a good lunch and have a laugh.

That's what it was about. Family. I got to see everyone (except the big nephew who's in Spain for the summer, and the bigger nephew who lives there all the time, and the grown niece who was away on holidays with her husband). I mean I saw my parents and all my siblings, and the young people. I love where I live, but I hate that it's so far away from my family. But then, when I see them, it really delights me.

So, it was a good weekend. No movies, no concerts, no garden visits. Family. A good weekend.

Compose: Sunday Scribblings

They're right. It's an odd little word. Not one that passes my lips very often. I would never tell someone to "compose" themself, for instance, or when I write a poem, I never think of myself as "composing" it. Friends who write songs are song-writers, to my mind. When I put images together for a collage, that's probably the time I'm most likely to allow the word "composition" to enter my mind.

That makes it sound as though it's almost a forbidden word. That's not it. But it is a word which carries a weight of old, old associations and memories. When I was young, we didn't write "essays" or "papers" at school. We wrote compositions. In English and Irish. By the time I came to secondary school, they were called Essays, and on Sunday nights, I'd frequently find myself at the kitchen table, rushing to put together something in English, something in Irish, and something in French, too. And then, I'd think of them as compositions again.

Without turning to my dictionary (Yet! - I'm itching to, but will hold off until I've finished writing this piece!) I think the word "compose" means to bring elements together and to create one singular unit of them. The elements might be musical notes, thoughts and ideas, or pieces of a picture. The elements become a "compostition" then, and that's the aim. When I wrote school essays, I'd try to include a few aspects of the theme, and draw them together with some wonderful unifying thought. It usually worked.

Looked at the dictionary. Yes, among the definitions, there's something close enough to mine: To form (something) by putting it together.

This afternoon, some of my friends will join me here at home to make some SoulCollage® cards. We will gather images from magazines, photos, advertising flyers, each of us creating a bundle of pages which have called to them for known ("Oh... that looks like how I feel when I'm on holiday / mad as hell / thinking about what I have to do !") or mysterious ("That picture has a .... I don't know... a quality... an atmosphere... an aura that attracts/repels me... do I want to pull it?...") When we have a bundle of image gathered, we will spread out our images, move them around, moodle with them, try various combinations of images, consider how one would look as background to a variety of other images, and gradually the composition will begin to come into focus, and we will reach for scissors, carefully snipping around foreground images, cutting background pages to the size of the card on which we will be making our collage. As the cutting proceeds, the images are tried out, checked in relation to one another... Other elements might be sought out. ...

As we work, a quiet concentration will descend on the group. There may be murmurs and occasional questions: "Anyone seen the whale I cut out? Where was that gold cup again?... Can I borrow that other scissors? ... " Time will slip by and then, one by one, we will begin to sit back, surveying the card we've been working on, holding it at arm's length, allowing the others to see what magic has taken place in the juxtaposition of a variety of disparate images. Some of the initial images will have been discarded. Some will go into (growing) piles of pictures we want to use sometime in the future - when the "right" image presents itself to join the first to represent some aspect of the self, some energy that is felt deeply, some archetype that has meaning in the life of the SoulCollage artist.

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These "compositions" become precious talismans to us. Over the past 4 years and more, I've made more than 100. I know a woman who has only made 2, but those 2 sit on her bedside table, precious to her, because they are a part of herself. When my sister began to make her cards, she carried them everywhere with her, as you might a special journal or diary.

When I found the SoulCollage process and began to make these cards, I did not imagine it would become such an important part of my life, but it has become a way in which I get to know myself, to share parts of myself with others. My cards remind me of what is important to me; they offer advice and perspective. When I'm wondering what course of action to take about something, I might pull 3 or 4 cards from my deck, and consider how they relate to my question. I've usually found affirming and reassuring answers in my "reading" of the cards.

When I began to write today, I did not mean to write a "composition" on the subject of SoulCollage® ! But it seems to fit, so I offer it to those of you who are curious. If you'd like to know more about the process, check out the SoulCollage website of Seena Frost, originator of the process, (where you will see 4 cards chosen randomly for you, and a large gallery of cards) or Kaleidosoul, a resource site run by a MA facilitator and trainer. I blog occasionally about my cards and process at SoulFragments. If you have questions... I'd be glad to answer them!

Find other Sunday Scribblings on "Compose" HERE.

Let's go to Hindu Kush!!!

[I had posted this piece and then went to see what the Sunday Scribbling prompt for this week is. It's "Passion". Well - this post is about a place created by a woman with a passion for healing, creativity and bringing people together, and it ends with a photo that could be captioned "Passion", so this is my post for this week's Sunday Scribblings.]


Let's Go To Hindu Kush

No, not the mountain pass in the Himalayas. I called to see if you were home yesterday, if you were free to come with me to visit Jacqui's special place, but you weren't there, so I had to travel out alone. When I arrived, it was so quiet. No-one seemed to be at home. There was the owl that sits outside the healing space that Jacqui has made beside her home.

There was the amethyst goddess waiting at the entrance. And the welcoming wish tree was hung with crystals, chimes and angels. I peeked inside. The table was set for tea. The meditation space was ready - colourful, warm and welcoming. All it needed was people. And then they began to arrive. We shared coffee and scones. We were excited and happy for Jacqui to be hosting this gathering. In her living-room, people who had not yet encountered SoulCollage(R) passed cards from hand to hand, asking questions. I met therapists, artists, healers. We mixed and chatted, while out at the healing centre, a TV crew interviewed one of the workshop presenters. We got to sit for an angelic meditation led by Miffy: relaxing, calming, beautiful.... We got to see the angels that Kim makes. We shared a lunch of delicious home-made vegetable soup. It was a special morning. I'm sorry you couldn't be there. But I hope the pictures give you an idea of what a wonderful space Jacqui has created. - A space in which magic is always ready to enter. At one point, another lady decided to hop up to the kitchen door-step to see if we would let her join in. But, really, she was occupied with other activities, so we told her to stay outside until she was finished with her spring-time business! See? Anything might happen in a space like this. I feel blessed in having a friend like Jacqui, and being able to spend time there. I feel blessed in the old friends and the new friends with whom I got to share that morning. Wish you could have been there, too.

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For more passionate Sunday Scribblings, go HERE

Creative Every Day. Week 1

In this first week of the challenge set by Leah to live more creatively I thought there would be slim pickings around here. I'm not writing, painting, drawing. I don't even have yarn on knitting needles at the moment. Yet I felt drawn to sign up, and to see in what ways I could give more attention to the things I've been doing.



I got my camera out again. I'd neglected it in recent times.


When I went to make soup, I snapped this picture. These vegetables became my own version of Mulligatawny soup, which , along with some oatcakes, made this evening's supper. Absolutely delicious, I must say. And I can feel very virtuous, in that there was barely a scintilla of olive oil in it, and no other fat. Just good veggies and lovely curry flavour. Rich and satisfying. Yummy.

There was more soup. Wonderful creamy red pepper soup, too - all in quantities to allow for a freezer stocked with soup for quite a while. And chilli. It must have been the drop in temperatures that preceded the first snowfall of the winter here that made me want to stock up on richly filling, warming foods.


And while I peeled and chopped, stirred and tested, I ruminated and planned, wondered and wished, and my intentions and plans for the coming year coalesced into shape. Drawing on what I'd said on my first post on the subject, and the idea of a single word to be a talisman, a watchword throughout the year, as Christine Kane suggests, I decided that Prayerfulness would be the word I want to permeate my actions this year. It fits into the intentions I'd stated already. In ways it's about mindfulness, too, but with gratitude.


Then, yesterday, I did a reading of my SoulCollage cards to choose four to be my guides through the year. I posted about it on my SoulFragments blog. As a way of keeping those four guides present to me during the year, I followed Noelle Remington's directions and made a little accordion-book with copies of my four cards, and the words associated with them from this reading. I've never made anything like this before, but I must have been ready, because I had a huge choice of papers and cards to choose from to make it. I chose purplish-shades, as the chakra-energy that emerged was the 6th chakra, and I thought this colour was close. Here is the finished product. I'm really pleased with it. The cards are on the front, the words on the back., and it all ties up in a pretty starry package.

And now I realise that, while I said I'd done no writing this week, I'm actually quite happy that my blogs have come back to life. Simply having time has made a difference, and I have been writing more here than in quite a long time.

And there were those 3 little poems I wrote on postcards and sent out to participants on the Perennial Postcard project. So there was some writing after all.

So the week started better than I'd thought. Now I'm going to check out a few of the participants' blogs. I wish I had time to get around to everyone, but know I won't. But I do wish every one of the participants well with their creative efforts this week.

Friday stuff

It's Friday, and one of the Fridays that I don't work. In fact, it's the start of my mid-term break, which sees me free for a whole 10 days, but as for many of them, I will be away from easy Internet Access, I may not be showing up here any more than I have over the past few weeks, so I thought I'd pop along this morning to see what's happening all over my favourite blogs. Feels good just to check in and see people are still out there, busy with stuff, doing interesting things.

After my last post (written when I should have been sleeping in my bed, I was so tired!), I alarmed Julie Marie by speaking of "NaNoWriMo" and "NaBloPoMo" as thought they were really nasty things causing me distress. I forgot to link to them or explain. NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, which runs through November, during which participants aim to write a 50,000 word novel. Last year was my first attempt, and as the badge in my sidebar tells you, I "won" by completig 500098 words... skin of my teeth, in other words. (oops, I notice, now that the 2007 season has started, they've actually changed my badge back to zero!) It was great fun. I wrote through trips to visit family, and a dose of shingles. I wrote while I had visitors, and when I had other responsibilities to be seen to. But this year, I just know I cannot set myself the goal of writing 1600 words a day. So I'm not going to do it. Hoping next year will feel different. When I realised I wouldn't be doing NaNoWriMo, I considered NaBloPoMo, or National Blog-Posting Month, during which participants simply post to their blog every day during the month. But, as I'm going to be away a couple of times during Novembere, and internet access is impossible when I visit family, and not always easy in other places, it's not a runner.

So, dear Julie Marie, you didn't need to worry about me being upset about these mysterious things. They both are things I'd just like to be able to get involved in, and can't! Maybe you can, though?

Yesterday was a really good day for me. You know a day where everything just fits? A day where all the bits come together, and you feel like you belong in your place, and you meet the people you're meant to meet? I think my stars must have been perfectly aligned or something, because it was one of those days... from the pinkening sky of morning to the perfect moon of night. My work, my meetings went well. I came home to a most exciting email, inviting me to join with Seena B Frost to train as a trainer of SoulCollage(R) facilitators. It's a process that will take a couple of years to complete, and I don't begin until I attend a training in June of next year, but that's wonderful. It allows plenty of time for me to run a number of workshops that I'd been planning, and to introduce as many more people as possible to the process here in Ireland. This just really affirms my "following my nose" when I decided to go for the training in 2006, and returned for a facilitators' conference this summer. I am hugely committed to SoulCollage and really thrilled to have a chance to help more and more people encounter this life-changing process.

That wasn't all! In a conversation later last night, my son enquired what I'd like as a birthday present (I enter my "Golden Years" in December, hitting the big 5-0). I didn't know, so he's offered to fund the trip my sisters and I are planning to Paris in May next year! See? I've raised a great kid!

See what I mean? One of those wonderful days, when I feel grateful for the people in my life, the paths I've been able to follow, and the places I've been able to visit and live.

It reminds me to give some thought to the many, many people in distress at the events in Southern California. It is horrifying to see pictures from the area, and my heart goes out to all affected by these terrible fires. My affection for Northern California has grown with my visits, but wherever it is happening, I find it awful to think of the devastation being wreaked on homes, land, and lives. My prayers are with you.

Hope, wherever you are, your weekend is safe and peaceful.

Travelling Haiku

There you are, my dear.

I've been waiting all morning

to come say "hello"

Here on the shady porch

My heart and soul are restored.

I breathe in, breathe out

The sound of the falls

absent. The trees whisper though:

Sister stone, don't weep.

I walk among giants

Joyful laughter on the air

Was that me? Laughing!

Sisters of the soul

pilgrims to this special place

No heart in shadow

And where have I been?

Oh, I seem to recall last year not knowing how to find my way back in, having been away from the blog for a while, and there may be something similar here, but I think I just have to drop my bags, yell "I'm home!" and start forcing people to look through my photos. You can skip the photos if you want. It may well be that it will take too long to post them anyway. I wasn't having much success with photos before I went away.

Away... away, with most of my family, to Barcelona, for a 5-day fiesta to celebrate my nephew, Glenn's wedding to Claire. We lunched and dined, we strolled and sight-saw(?)... saw sights! We stopped for cafe con leche or tapas. We sang (well, some of us were the audience!). We clapped. We deepened friendships with a wide circle of family, in-laws, friends of younger and older generations. The cameraderie was wonderful, the togetherness was magic, and the wedding was special indeed. It was a treat to witness everyone's enjoyment of it all, to see people's eyes open to this beautiful city. The whole experience was a blessing for me and for my family.

2 days back home with my Dad, enough time to tidy up my luggage, re-pack and head off again, this time to San Francisco and its environs - the Bay Area, as they say. I was met by the most wonderful caring and kind friend (and her mother), and given such a welcome! They gave me days to just sit on the porch - and I did, watching hummingbirds (Oh, that ruby-throated bird!)and dragonflies. In the early mornings, I would spot deer and a visiting trio of young foxes through my bedroom window. One evening, we went to investigate a racket being created by the jays in the oaks outside, only to find they were trying to evict an intruder from "their" tree. - A magnificent great horned owl (we surmised from the sillhouette and the sheer size of the creature) swooped from branch to branch, but just sat there until HE was good and ready to depart.

Once I was rested, excursions began - down the coast, over to Palo Alto, into Berkeley to see the Hearst museum of anthropology and the museum of art; out for breakfast at little places called Tina's or Millie's, where french toast comes coated in sugar and strawberries. - This to eat with sausages! Culture shock! (But I coped!).

I took off on BART, made my way to the Museum of Asian Art - spent the better part of a day there. There is so much to see. Bus to Golden Gate park to visit the AIDS memorial garden, the Japanese tea garden (jasmine tea and rice crackers), the sculptures around the de Young art gallery. Simply riding the bus through that city - down the hills, I loved looking at the houses - no, not the big fancy ones. The houses on ordinary streets, where ordinary people live. I loved the farmers' markets, yarn shops, the post-office. I loved people's gardens, tiny patches crammed with colour and scent. I didn't spend enough time there. I'll have to go back.

Then there was Yosemite. Oh.... I hired a car, and took off. Of course I took wrong turns. Of course I ended up on roads I wasn't meant to take. I discovered highway 160 - the Delta ("What delta?"I wondered... turns out to be the Sacramento River delta). Levees. I was tickled. We don't have levees. I took my Chevy to the Levee! Drove along a road built up above the river. Water on each side, and an atmosphere of peace and tranquility. I'd set off early in the day, so I had plenty of time for this little detour. A coffee-stop at a boating resort allowed me to check with my map. Oh yes, I'd gone astray, but what a gem I found in that road.

This is what I realise I love about travelling somewhere new. When it's new, everything is interesting, so getting lost isn't a problem. I still get to see something I haven't seen before. But I did want to find Yosemite, so I sorted out my route, adjusted my heading, (so to speak), and made my way to Sonora for the night. I didn't stay in the park, as I'd left it to the last minute to try to organise accommodation (the downside of being spontaneous), but I liked the towns I stayed in. And I liked the travelling to them, and from them. When I saw there was a town called Mariposa, I just knew I had to go there, and go there I did. So, I spent a couple of days exploring Yosemite. I'm not a hiker, though. I'm a stroller. I was in sandals with no backs. I took the easy trails. The ones being followed by people with children in pushchairs. What's wonderful is that there's still so much to see. I did go up to Glacier point and Bridalveil falls. I felt a sense of bereavement when I got to Yosemite falls to find there was no water. Dry, dry, dry. It seemed wrong, somehow. I loved that there were huge numbers of people there, and that yet, it was so big, you could be alone, you could have quiet.

On my last afternoon, just before 5, I found my way to Mariposa Grove, and the last tour of the day was about to set off through the redwoods. Wow. Those noble trees. I can't say much about them, but that hour driving through there was really something special for me. There are a lot of lessons for me in the Redwoods. They need to survive fire to grow, to be healthy. When they have a strong enough root system and sap-building layer, they can even survive the loss of their heartwood.

Going 'home' to my hosts again, I felt I'd been away for weeks. I'd been somewhere wild and new, along mountain roads higher than anything in Ireland. I don't want to start sounding preachy (if anyone is actually reading this far), but I want to tell you if you are American, you are a trustee of something very special in Yosemite. You all have a responsibility to look after it for the rest of us. That's what I became aware of when I was there. Responsibility.

My trip didn't end there, but I think this post has to end here! It's too long, too long. I haven't managed to get a photo in. They all need to be resized. I'm going to put something about the final few days - the SoulCollage facilitators conference near Santa Cruz on my SoulFragments blog. It was magic. It was community and connection. It was a time of confirmation. I'm not crazy to be taking off on these excursions. This is the right thing to be doing now in my life. I couldn't have chosen a better place to go. Thank you to California for opening her arms and welcoming me. Now I'm home!

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And while I was gone:

Dana and Liz of Poetry Thursday announced that they are shutting up shop at the end of the month. I'll be so sorry to see it go. There are moves afoot to do something else, so the poetry community will still be active, but I just want to say here how much I have appreciated the initiative that these two amazing women took and the results of it have been absolutely astounding to me. It was a lifeline for me - when I thought I wasn't writing anything at all, to find that, actually, I'd done a little something for Poetry Thursday. And the range of poets that it attracted was something else! Everybody welcome, everybody finding their niche! Magic. I wish every blessing on whatever they take on in the future, because they deserve it. Namaste.

And also while I was gone:

Tinker nominated me for a Blogger Reflection award. I'm highly honoured. It means something I've been doing here has "inspired her with my creative spirit through my blogging". If you frequent Tinker's blog, you know what creative spirit really looks like. She is a wonderful soul, and it's really made me feel special to think she'd nominate me. .... And then Kara at Spiritdoll did me the honour of nominating me for my SoulFragments blog, and again, there's someone whose spirit and creativity inspire me all the time, so I am really delighted with that. Now, i get the pleasant task of nominating five bloggers who inspire me. Oh. I've been away, I haven't been reading, and it will take me a month to catch up, so maybe everybody has already been nominated, but I would like to mention some of the bloggers who have meant so much to me over the journey since I began my blog with the Artist's Way group in January 2006, so I will be nominating Fran at Sacred Ordinary. Wenda at Daring to Write, Kathryn at A Mindful Life (who is expecting her first baby in 4 days time!). Then there's Theresa Williams and (oooh, this is hard. I love and am inspired by ALL my blog-friends), but I don't think a lot of the people who come here also go visit THIS blogging Mommy. Go see. They are wonderful.

The task, as explained by Kara, is for each of them to

"nominate 5 bloggers that are an encouragement, a source of love,impact me in some way and who has provided a Godly example. In otherwords, five cherished bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are filled with a sense of pride and joy"

I'm sorry, it's been so long since I've done this I don't know how to post the relevant badge here. There's one on Kara's blog HERE. Hope you can use it.

Sunday Miscellany

Sunday Miscellany is the name of a popular radio program here. I had a poem broadcast on it a few months ago. But this post isn't about that. This post is a miscellany because my attempt to write a "Spicy" piece for Sunday Scribblings turned out so bland and insipid, I just couldn't post it. I added cumin, ginger, cayenne, garam masala, and still, there was no flavour. Believe me! Maybe it's my taste-buds.

And maybe it's because there's too much other stuff going around in my head. I've had a good week, so here's :

.................What Went Well This Week

Work - in different places each day, some self-generated, some not, some beginnings, some endings approaching, but a sense of energy, a sense of being fully in my work.(I didn't mean to start with WORK, as though that is priority, and everything else is also-ran!)
Stuff (1)- when I realised my credit card had been missing for a week(!!!), and called the bank, I discovered that the last transaction was the last one I'd made (phew!), so cancelled it before anything sinister happened with it.
Stuff (2) - when I called the garage to say my car had been losing power, the nice man said "bring it in", and when I explained I needed it that afternoon, he said "no problem", and when I collected it (early!), he had done a full service on it - and washed it!
Son - He heads off tomorrow for his summer adventure in USA, and we've just had a really nice week together, not doing anything very special, but just chatting, sorting out stuff he wants to dump. He's been away for months at a time before, but still in the same country, so tomorrow brings with it a little anxiety for Mommy!
Sorting - Completed little tasks like paying bills, arranging dates for upcoming appointments and workshops, filed stuff... ended the week feeling there's less hanging on my shoulders.
Plans - decided to go home to see my Dad next weekend (Fathers' Day), to do some SoulCollage with sister and some friends; other sister sent me a link to this garden's site, and there are definite plans to visit there before this summer ends. My plans for July/August in California are moving ahead. Yay!
Health - After months of inactivity, I got to the gym twice this week (only once last week) and gave myself silver stars for going! So I'm moving in the right direction. Ate more fruit and veg. Feel good.

...............A Game

Deb of the Red Shoes posted a game on her blog yesterday, and I found it today, and decided to join in. Rules are easy, and if you decide to play along, go to her blog and leave her a comment saying you've done so. (Tell me too, please, as I'd enjoy seeing your responses).

each answer has to start with the same letter as the first letter of your name and if an answer is a place name it should be real, not fictional. If someone who answers before you has the same first letter, try to come up with different answers than they did. Now on to…

Scattergories 2



Your name: ....................Imelda
A Country: ......................Italy
A Song Title:.................... If
An Artist (painter, photographer, etc): .....Ingres (La Grande Odalisque)
A Reason to stay home from Work or School: ..........Infection
Something you’d see at a Zoo: .................Iguana
A Snack: ...............................Ice-cream sandwich (Yes! It is a snack)
A Character in a Book: ......................India Wilkes
Something Icky: .......................Icky things (Sorry!)
A Six-letter Word: ....................Irises
Something Breakable: .............Italian glass (well, Venice is in Italy, right?)
Non-Alcoholic Drink: ..............Iced coffee
Something you Whisper: ........I love you.


.......................A New SoulCollage card to Share

I've been wondering if there are particular cultural themes that would begin to turn up in the SoulCollage made by Irish people, and had an idea that it would be natural for Celtic gods/goddesses to turn up in the council suit, and naturally the landscape used for backgrounds to differ from that used by others. Last Saturday, I ran the 3rd of my public workshops, and again it was well-attended and well-received. In the course of the day, I found images that just called out to me to become a card. It represents Race memory of hunger. I haven't written about it yet, but will soon on my SoulFragments blog.

There's more this week, but I have to stop somewhere. Have to get out to the weeds that have been thriving in my absence from my garden. Have to get some recycling over to the bring-banks. Have to spend at least some of this day on my beanbag in the garden not thinking of weeds or recycling.

Have a lovely Sunday, and a great week.

Sunday Scribblings: Wings

..........Wings

Damp, sticky, fragile, as I try to unfold them. Untried, and with no quality-control stamp to say ‘Yes, they will hold you’, I still have no option once I’ve shed my cocoon, once I’ve struggled free of the hard binding in which I have rested, no option but to shake those wings, shake them and allow them to be caught by the air; shake them, allow the breeze to catch them, to catch me, and to fly.

These wings are the object of the struggle, the object of the time within, the goal towards which I have been striving, for which I have yearned. With them, I have become at last the Me I was destined to become – a creature of wild nature, unbound and free. My pleasure is in the sighs that people pass as I flit by. ‘Butterfly’, they might say, ‘the first of the year’. I know there are people whose souls lift at the sight of me. That is why I take such joy in my dance. That is part of why I allow a rising draft to carry me in a spiral of delight. My wings give wings to others. My beauty is not something I can see, but it is given to me in the shining eyes of those who watch me. My wings are my delight, as much as they are yours.

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More 'wings' will be found at Sunday Scribblings

Now it's Monday

I didn't write for Sunday Scribblings this week because my weekend was a busy one, and it strikes me that, not having done that, a space opens up where I might just write a post that's not tied into Sunday Scribblings or Poetry Thursday. (I didn't do anything for Poetry Thursday last week either). Life's been busy. I got a job, which I will be starting in a few weeks' time - and for which I have already begun a series of training-days. I'll be counselling in schools, and am really looking forward to starting. I'm still teaching my psychology class, which is taking a good deal of preparation work, and last weekend I facilitated my first public SoulCollage(R) workshop. That took a bit of preparation, and went very well. I enjoyed it, and had the company of a fellow blogger who travelled to be here for the workshop - Caroline of Caro's Lines came over from England and was great company and a fantastic support, too.

At the workshop, I watched 16 women, many of whom had never encountered the SoulCollage process, take it to themselves and immerse themselves in the business of finding images (or allowing the images to find them) which would express some part of their being. It was an honour to be present for that, and I really feel grateful that I have found this wonderful process at this time in my life. I didn't intend to work on cards, but found at one stage, a few images were in my hand, and just wanted to get glued down, so I made this card.

I call it my Dressmakers card, and it honours the women in my ancestry who all made their living as dressmakers. - My maternal grandmother, and many of my mother's sisters. Even those who didn't work as seamstresses had the skill, or knit instead. I don't sew, but I do some crafts, and feel that in a way, the SoulCollage process is one of my ways of expressing this aspect of my heritage.

The other card I made, oddly enough, echoes the theme that this week's Sunday Scribbling had. It was "Deepest, Darkest", and this card, which I call "Going into the Deep", says:

"I am one who goes into the deepest, darkest places; who is willing to descend. I am one who emerges transformed after the descent."

Sunday Scribblings - Nemesis

After last week's look at heroes, this week, Sunday Scribblings' theme is Nemesis.

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She dwells within, her with the long, bony finger, always pointing; Her, with the sharp eyes and the shaking head. No, No, No, she will intone. You can't do that, can't chance that, You can't risk that. What will they say? What will happen? You will get laughed at, you will fail. You will make a fool of yourself. You will end up despondent and depressed. You can't, you shouldn't, you mustn't, you needn't. She says everything is ok as it is, She figures change isn't a good idea. Staying just where we are is comfortable for her. She allows me to argue, up to a point, and then she shakes the head again. But, But, But, she will chant. She is the sprinkler of doubts, she has a way of being there, just turning up whenever there's an idea afoot, a new something in the air. There she will be, with her chorus of doubters to back her up.



But, now that I have come to know her, now that I understand her fears, she holds less fear for me. I can let her have her say, and sometimes, having assured her that I'm listening, that she has put a stop to my madness, I just go ahead and do what I wanted anyway. See? I'll say to her, - See? I made a change, and the world didn't collapse after all!

Will I ever manage to silence her entirely? Probably not, but at least we can live together now. At least I am not afraid of her. At least I know her face, and know when she is active, there's every chance of an exciting change happening!

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Meet other's nemesis (ses?) HERE

Some of my SoulCollage(tm) Cards. Just playing around with Slideshows. Fun.

Get Your Own! View Slideshow

True Balance - Second Chakra

It's time to post some thoughts about the 2nd Chakra experience, and what's struck me through reading the Balanced Vitality Chapter of True Balance. I don't have a plan for this post, but suspect (again) that it may be long. Forgive me, but I just want to see what's important in this for me - and I know there is much.

First, allow me to share my SoulCollage card which relates to my 2nd Chakra. When I make these cards, I operate very intuitively, selecting images that call me without knowing quite why, very often. My Leopard companion speaks to me of living completely at home within your skin, of being at home in the environment, and enjoying everything the senses have to offer. Look at the beauty! Imagine the texture of that coat! And picture the sensuous, lithe, swaying walk of such a beautiful creature! After I had created this card, I realised that, of course, there are colours associated with the chakras. Notice the presence of Orange tones? That's the colour of the 2nd Chakra. (HERE'S what I wrote about it on my SoulFragments Blog)
















I'll admit straight off that reading this chapter could have caused an emotional rollercoaster in me, and, being aware of this, I simply chose at first to ignore the aspects of the material that were going to make me uncomfortable, and to concentrate on what I really was enjoying and could relate to without discomfort. BUT... But, but... I have come back to the other stuff, and have found it really useful, in fact to consider it and have learnt some very valuable things. (Need I say the bits I was tempted to leave out were those relating to sexuality and romance? -- I'll come back to it at the end of the post, as it was only this morning that a long session with my journal helped me to clarify some very fundamental aspects of this issue for me)

But, first, the idea that the Second or Sacral Chakra is where our vitality, our experience of the joy of being alive, resides - this I wanted to look at, and this I felt was entirely appropriate during this time, as my sister and I were away to France for 5 days last week(see the small slideshow of my photos here), and if the senses are fed anywhere, if we can experience the joy of being alive anywhere, I would defy you to find a place better than the South of France! We chose a time of perfect weather (purely luck!). - Not too hot, not windy, no rain, but the occasional fluffy cloud to provide shade. Just right for strolling, and swimming. Hot enough to feel we were on a holiday, but not so hot to make it impossible to enjoy ourselves. Perfect! And in the course of those few days, these are (some of the) ways in which my senses were fed:

Sight
Vineyards stretching as far as the eye can see
Sunset over the Mediterranean
Mountains of grey and blue shades
Market stalls of vegetables, flowers, fabrics
Little village streets, green-shuttered houses, red-tiled roofs,
Geraniums, bouganvillea, flower-baskets
Beautiful buildings in Montpelier - even McDonalds!
apple-orchards, little gardens, fig-trees, fruit, vegetables
......... everywhere the eye turned.... beauty

Sound
Voices of children as they headed to school
French accents everywhere.... Oooh la la!
The lapping of the sea... oh, the lapping of the sea
Listening to Richard Thompson, Joni Mitchell CD's as we drove
Swallows returning home, their high-pitched chipping

Taste
Oh... everything. Tomatoes. Yes, Simply tomatoes.
Onion, garlic, ham,
cheese, cheese, cheese
peach nectar
the perfect Chorizo pizza
nougat
A roast chicken with couscous and simple salad.
A fizzy drink made with blood-orange. Not over-sweet. mmm
Coffee. Ah. Cafe-au-lait. Aaaah.
Did I mention the tomatoes?

Touch
Bare feet on cool tile floors
warm sand
slipping into, swimming, in the cool silk water of the Med. Oooooh.
breaking open fresh crusty bread (covers all 5 senses, in fact)

Smell
Bread...
coffee
lavender
garlic
wine - along the road, where the tractors passed carrying grapes - wine
figs that have fallen
rose perfume
salt from the sea


.................In short, five days of sensory overload, of pleasure, of relaxation, of the company of someone I love, of giggling, and laughter, and sheer wet-your-pants skitting. Five days of sleep when the mood strikes, and wake when your body says "enough", of no schedule and easily finding pleasant things to do. Music to suit the mood, time to read two books (long awaited - the Secret Life of Bees - YES, YES, YES!, and Eat, Pray, Love - Good, but somehow a disappointment. Too much hype?) Five days to restore the spirit, and to let the Second Chakra know that I am here on Planet Earth and experiencing it.

So, I didn't have to think a lot about this, I just felt I was doing it. Letting my sensual self have everything she wanted, appreciating it all. And it was good.

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But let me comment a little on some of what's in the book. I scribbled on the margins as I read, and my first scribbled comment was that depression is the antithesis of experiencing a healthy second chakra. In depression, it is impossible, or at least very difficult to experience the joy of being alive. This just really came home to me very forcefully.

I also noticed that my recent urge to go back to a Tai-chi class (I haven't done it yet, but could in the coming weeks) would be very supportive of the 2nd chakra - and possibly all of them, being that it gets a flow going.

Creativity, inventiveness: I think I know when I'm writing, for instance, and feeling "hot" that the power is in the belly, fire in the belly. I know the emptiness too - the feeling there's nothing there. I recognise 2nd chakra as the souce of creativity. I was really glad when I listed the things I would love to create in my life to find that YES, I do have passion and enthusiasm for them.

There was so much in this chapter... I cannot relate all my margin comments. It rings true for me. I can recognise times in my life when I've been well-balanced, and unbalanced here, and the area I really felt was so scary to look at was the last thing I'm going to comment on:

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When it came to the area of Romance and Sexuality, I wanted to just skip over all that, because, being celibate, well - It doesn't really apply. It will only make me sad to be looking at that, feeling the absence, feeling the gap, being aware of what's missing in my life. But the topic was there, and I came to it in my Morning Pages Journal today. I know I am a sexual being, whether or not I'm in a sexual relationship. I am aware of my sexuality. I am a woman. And here's the thing: ---- if I don't allow that I have a sexual nature, then it will become repressed, warped, not healthy. I don't have to be expressing it in reality (in a relationship) to be expressing my self as a sexual person. It's in how I am, and I don't have to be ashamed of being a person with a sexual side to me. Ah. It feels better simply to say that. And the sky didn't fall down. And I didn't get struck by lightning!

Romance..... Now, that's one I thought would make me really sad to consider. Romance. Oh, the nostalgia-fest I could have fallen into. But there were questions in the book that I chose to consider. What would constitute a romantic relationship for me? What would I want in a relationship? And I finally allowed myself to write out what I do want in a man. And it comes down, very simply to wanting a man who has a healthy second chakra himself - someone who is not looking to me, not looking to sexual experience alone, to give him a sense of being alive. I want only to be with someone who knows where to find pleasure in the world without me. And someone who wouldn't feel threatened by my needing to experience the world alone at times myself.

Considering this question, coming to these conclusions, was very important for me. I'm glad I took the challenge of the chapter, and (finally) considered all of this. Perhaps there is much more for me to realise, but for now, I feel I gained a great deal from the second chapter.

Finally ----- my SoulCollage card representing Mermaid Spirit ------- a perfect representation of 2nd Chakra balance to me. I especially love the freedom, the evident sensuality of this image, and the reminder it now gives me of swimming in the Mediterranean!

True Balance - First Chakra Experience

I have been jotting down notes as they struck me during the past couple of weeks of aspects of my life that I think display First Chakra activity. The book makes it clear that you can expect to be off-balance in this area if you have had major life changes, or if we have lost something that provides us with a sense of belonging or safety our foundation will be upset. I know that while I am working towards rebuilding, I have not completely rebuilt my foundation since the end of my marriage, and I now realise that it is really important that I begin with first chakra. I can go off on "head-stuff", and I'm realising now that I need to really value the basic things I've been doing to look after myself, and build on them. This is going to be a long post, so don't feel bad if you don't read it all. I'm writing it for myself more than anything!

Firstly, I'd like to share the SoulCollage card that represents my First Chakra. I have a strong affinity with Salamander, and feel the energy is very basic, very instinctive, very much about survival.


Following are the notes I wrote during the couple of weeks. I realised that there is much going on that relates to the urge to balance the First Chakra, whether or not I was conscious that that was what I was doing. This really comforts and affirms me, as I feel it means that there is an instinct towards health operating, urging me to do things that support my First Chakra. Did anyone else find this?

Notes on the First Chakra experience

When I started reading the chapter relating to the Root or First Chakra last week, ( or was it even before I’d begun reading?) I became aware that I was doing things that do support the connection with earth, that make me feel grounded and connected to the world. – I found myself dancing in the living-room or kitchen a few times. Usually, I can play music, and sit knitting or reading, but well… I just had to get up and dance.

Food – I’ve been cooking a lot of beans and lentils, earthy food, and making up great bowls of green salad. One thing I started to do lately was, instead of buying a plastic carton of cut herbs at the supermarket, buy a pot of growing herbs, and sit it on the kitchen windowsill. My salads contain fresh-picked basil, parsley, or mint, and even if the pot only lasts a couple of weeks, it costs the same, and gives me the sense of having the real, living plant in my food. I’ve been making smoothies in the mornings, with lots of fresh fruit. Mmmm.

This week, vitally, really importantly for my first chakra – I finally moved on a long-delayed project, and organized a painter to come in and paint my whole house. This is necessary to simply freshen the living-space up, but more importantly, to help clear the stale energy left behind from before my marriage ended. Since first Chakra is the foundation, having a comfortable living-space is very important, and the timing is perfect. I’m clearing and cleaning, and creating a space that will be a foundation for the life I want to be living.

There have been other little things. I was going to the bottle-bank, and I realised that recycling, looking after the environment is First Chakra activity. It’s grounding, it’s connecting to earth. When I bring my kitchen scraps out to my worm-compost bin, and admire the activity turning waste into compost, I get a great feeling. It’s connection. Its grounding.

One of the suggested activities for creating a sound foundation is to introduce live things into your home. I’ve mentioned the herb plants I’ve started to buy, but I also splurged on a beautiful yellow orchid – which came in a pot the very colour I will be putting on my walls in most rooms .


Then, there are ways to awaken and balance the first chakra involving looking after the body – soothing the skin, working on the feet and legs… I began to use a body-lotion again, after simply getting lazy about it for a couple of months. It feels so good to look after myself like this. I have problems with my feet, which I think tells me a lot. They need to be looked after, to form a solid foundation for me, to help me to be “fully grounded and present in life.”

Another remedy for balancing that I find myself applying in my life is using my calendar and diary. When I don’t use them, I don’t know where I’m meant to be, I have a nagging sense that I’m forgetting things, or missing events. When I write plans into them, and consult them, I can arrange my life easily and use up less energy – as getting my schedule mixed up is really exhausting!

Finally, the book speaks about taking responsibility for ourselves as being necessary to balance the first chakra. I was very proud of myself when I went last week to arrange my own health cover! Grown-up at last!

..................................................................................That’s a lot of First Chakra activity.

...................................................................................And there’s MORE:

When I went and got measured for a new bra, I realised that because I usually shop in chain-stores, which only stock certain sizes, I’ve been wearing bras that aren’t my proper fitting for years. And the difference that a correctly-sized bra makes to how I feel is amazing. When I said this to a friend, she said – “Well yes, They don’t call them foundation–garments for nothing!” – and I noticed the word. More First-Chakra self-care, I think!

And I went and had a manicure, which involved having lovely oil massaged into my hands and forearms – being skin-care, this is a First-Chakra self-care activity, surely, too!

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This is probably NOT how I'd intended to post about the book. I'm not really responding here to the questions asked in the book, the self-reflection exercises. It's not that I don't want to, but I was just so taken with the widespread prevalence in my life of 1st chakra-related activity, that's what I wanted to post about. I have posted this before 15th because I'm going to be away (again!) for another week or two, but I'll be reading the second chapter. It will be very interesting to see does it hit me in the same way! And I'm fascinated to see what everyone else has to say about their experience. Chapter 2 here we come!

If you're interested in joining in with the group reading True Balance by Sonia Choquette, go to Melba's blog HERE to see what's happening, and come along! Join in!

Sunday Scribbling - Who Else Can I Still Be?

Although I missed out on doing last week's prompt (mea culpa... when I counted up, I found that, of the 19 prompts offered so far, I've only done 10 of them. I seem to be away at weekends a LOT!) I still wanted to do this week's. Yes, it might have turned out differently if I'd written last week, but I am where I am, so I just chose to write and see what came out. It turned out to suit my most recent SoulCollage (tm) card, so that's what I've added at the end!


Who else can I still be?

I can still be the woman who has learnt to put the past behind her. There is still space for me to become someone who doesn’t mind any more having lost, someone who will say with grace and ease “Ah, yes, there was a husband… but that was long ago, and doesn’t matter any more” I still have time to become someone for whom none of that really matters at all. Someone who is not troubled by regrets or overtaken by tears at strange times

She will live easy in the world, this woman, moving lightly from place to place, open and connecting with people she meets. The woman I might become has found the balance – the balances that I’ve been seeking. She can speak of herself and her life without boring others. She is in a place that is the perfect medium between aloof and intrusive. She doesn’t worry about the future, but she looks to it at the same time, and sees to it that she does the necessary things.

I can still be a woman who values the woman I am now, who brings her along, shelters her and praises her, knows the path she has trodden, and knows, when she looks back, that I did what I could, given my circumstances and resources. She will have no blame for me, and no bitterness for others. She will carry the past as a basket of treasures, rough and smooth gems, items that can be identified, and others that can be just felt, picked up and smoothed, touched to a cheek in blessing.

Maybe I can still become a woman who knows things other women need to hear, a woman who can share, and walk along the path with others. I can still be strong. I can still be wise. I can walk into the world proud in my skin, upright and capable. I can claim my place in the next phase of my life, begin to see the marks of Cronehood as marks of honour, begin to laugh more loudly, and to pay less attention to the rules. I can still become a woman who has the best qualities of my mother and grandmother in me. I can still become a woman who, without having a daughter, can pass those qualities to other women, or praise them and value them in friends, nieces, the sisters of the soul who come my way. Who else can I still be? I still have the chance to become fully, completely, wonderfully, Me.






The Crone









Other Sunday Scribblings are HERE