Poetry Reading(s)

Tonight, as part of the annual Earagail Arts Festival in our county, I'll be joining fellow-poets who have been published by Summer Palace Press to read at a wonderful old house in the country. Over the past few years, perhaps I've become blasé about reading in public. I'm blessed with a demeanour that hides any nerves I might feel (people always tell me how "calm" and "serene" I am when I get up to read), and I have come to trust that "it will be alright on the night".

I love to hear poetry read. I love to hear the voice of the poet. I love to hear any few words of introduction they might have. I love to recall moments from readingsI have attended. When I read, there is always someone who comes up to me later to say that hearing that poem brought it alive to them, allowed them to relate to it, to understand something of it in a new way, and I think I've done my job well if there is just that one person.

I didn't always love poetry. At school, the way in which it was taught (and read) turned it into a bore for me. The first poetry-reading I ever went to, I went by accident. Back in 1989? 1990?My friend had a new job, working in administration for an arts-journal, and one of her duties was to make arrangements for the hospitalty for a group of visiting poets. She roped me in to go along and help with the sandwiches. So I did. And I went home and wrote the following poem, dedicated to the women of Killybegs Writers Group.

..........Poetry Reading

We said 'It might be good for a laugh, at least'
Imagine going totally rhapsodic over trees!
Don't get me wrong.
I like trees. Really I do!
But they're hardly that inspiring.

And then, a woman's voice came up
and spoke my heart,
unfurled the rumpled fabric of my life,
in front of all those people.
It was all said in six lines.

Looking around, I saw faces
saying 'She's telling my tale'
and we stood, applauding our lives.
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That night, in the Trades Club in Sligo, a smoky, beer-smelling room, filled with people, my soul opened up to what poetry might mean in a life, in my life, and my life did actually change forever. Where I live now, the friends I have, the journeys I have made, the paths I travel, have all been influenced by that night. My sanity has been maintained because of that night.

Since then, I have attended poetry readings in churches, in fine houses, in arts centres and in hotel meeting-rooms. I have heard Billy Collins, Seamus Heaney, Paul Durcan, Paula Meehan, Wendy Cope, Mary O'Malley.... many, many fine poets read, and there have been magical moments for me in each of those readings, but the memory of the night where I first met real poetry stays with me as the one that was the true gift.

If you don't go to poetry readings, try to find one. If you can't find one, open a book and read a poem aloud. If you have someone to read it to, all the better. If you don't have a book, read a poem from Poetry Thursday aloud. Stand up! Applaud!

Catching up on Life

This is what happens: Life gets busy, but I still get to check up on blogs I read, I click on the Poetry Thursday or Sunday Scribbling site, and I write a piece and post it, and there you are - my blog's got somethig new on it, and a few days pass, and the same thing happens, and next thing, I've really not shared at all in the way I used to...

So, these are pieces of my life from the past few weeks:

Shopping with my sister for her wedding-gown. this was a highlight for me - a wonderful, heart-filling, happy, special time that came unplanned and like a gift. She will be a beautiful bride at her September wedding.

...

This week, the beginning of my employment in my new job, starting with induction training, familiarising myself with the organisation, and meeting a lot of new co-workers. Spending 3 days away from home, making new friends, finding questions, handling nerves, anxiety, realising that everything I experience can be reflected as something a counselling client might experience too. Breathing.

...

My second public SoulCollage workshop last Saturday. - 8 women exploring through image the parts of themselves that felt like making themselves known that day. Watching, being with, witnessing the unfoldment. Feeling honoured to be present for that. Being glad I've been gifted with this treasure and allowed to share it.

...

Five months after the painters finished in my house, I finally got around to putting up some hooks and hanging my precious collection of artworks about my house. I keep smiling as I look around my walls. I feel so lucky to have such beautiful art in my home.

...

Yesterday, went with some friends to Belfast to read at a poetry event. A generous-spirited poetry reading at which 12 poets each read one of their own poems, and a poem by a favourite foreign poet. The atmosphere was respectful without being over-precious, and the energy and enthusiasm of the largely young audience was infectious. A wonderful evening. A gift.

...

This morning, having stayed over, my friend Clare and I visited the botanic gardens. Birdsong, the scent of wallflowers, this and much more:

Earlier this week, an early-morning call from a dear friend, planning to visit Ireland for the first time in July. - Anticipating the fun we will have exploring and discovering new places, or previously-visited, but worth-revisiting sites.

Life is good. Life is full. After days of sunshine, the rain has returned tonight. A necessary drenching for the garden. And if the sun comes out again over the next few days, I'm ready to get out there and weed a bit, tidy a bit, ready for the summer.

True Balance - Second Chakra

It's time to post some thoughts about the 2nd Chakra experience, and what's struck me through reading the Balanced Vitality Chapter of True Balance. I don't have a plan for this post, but suspect (again) that it may be long. Forgive me, but I just want to see what's important in this for me - and I know there is much.

First, allow me to share my SoulCollage card which relates to my 2nd Chakra. When I make these cards, I operate very intuitively, selecting images that call me without knowing quite why, very often. My Leopard companion speaks to me of living completely at home within your skin, of being at home in the environment, and enjoying everything the senses have to offer. Look at the beauty! Imagine the texture of that coat! And picture the sensuous, lithe, swaying walk of such a beautiful creature! After I had created this card, I realised that, of course, there are colours associated with the chakras. Notice the presence of Orange tones? That's the colour of the 2nd Chakra. (HERE'S what I wrote about it on my SoulFragments Blog)
















I'll admit straight off that reading this chapter could have caused an emotional rollercoaster in me, and, being aware of this, I simply chose at first to ignore the aspects of the material that were going to make me uncomfortable, and to concentrate on what I really was enjoying and could relate to without discomfort. BUT... But, but... I have come back to the other stuff, and have found it really useful, in fact to consider it and have learnt some very valuable things. (Need I say the bits I was tempted to leave out were those relating to sexuality and romance? -- I'll come back to it at the end of the post, as it was only this morning that a long session with my journal helped me to clarify some very fundamental aspects of this issue for me)

But, first, the idea that the Second or Sacral Chakra is where our vitality, our experience of the joy of being alive, resides - this I wanted to look at, and this I felt was entirely appropriate during this time, as my sister and I were away to France for 5 days last week(see the small slideshow of my photos here), and if the senses are fed anywhere, if we can experience the joy of being alive anywhere, I would defy you to find a place better than the South of France! We chose a time of perfect weather (purely luck!). - Not too hot, not windy, no rain, but the occasional fluffy cloud to provide shade. Just right for strolling, and swimming. Hot enough to feel we were on a holiday, but not so hot to make it impossible to enjoy ourselves. Perfect! And in the course of those few days, these are (some of the) ways in which my senses were fed:

Sight
Vineyards stretching as far as the eye can see
Sunset over the Mediterranean
Mountains of grey and blue shades
Market stalls of vegetables, flowers, fabrics
Little village streets, green-shuttered houses, red-tiled roofs,
Geraniums, bouganvillea, flower-baskets
Beautiful buildings in Montpelier - even McDonalds!
apple-orchards, little gardens, fig-trees, fruit, vegetables
......... everywhere the eye turned.... beauty

Sound
Voices of children as they headed to school
French accents everywhere.... Oooh la la!
The lapping of the sea... oh, the lapping of the sea
Listening to Richard Thompson, Joni Mitchell CD's as we drove
Swallows returning home, their high-pitched chipping

Taste
Oh... everything. Tomatoes. Yes, Simply tomatoes.
Onion, garlic, ham,
cheese, cheese, cheese
peach nectar
the perfect Chorizo pizza
nougat
A roast chicken with couscous and simple salad.
A fizzy drink made with blood-orange. Not over-sweet. mmm
Coffee. Ah. Cafe-au-lait. Aaaah.
Did I mention the tomatoes?

Touch
Bare feet on cool tile floors
warm sand
slipping into, swimming, in the cool silk water of the Med. Oooooh.
breaking open fresh crusty bread (covers all 5 senses, in fact)

Smell
Bread...
coffee
lavender
garlic
wine - along the road, where the tractors passed carrying grapes - wine
figs that have fallen
rose perfume
salt from the sea


.................In short, five days of sensory overload, of pleasure, of relaxation, of the company of someone I love, of giggling, and laughter, and sheer wet-your-pants skitting. Five days of sleep when the mood strikes, and wake when your body says "enough", of no schedule and easily finding pleasant things to do. Music to suit the mood, time to read two books (long awaited - the Secret Life of Bees - YES, YES, YES!, and Eat, Pray, Love - Good, but somehow a disappointment. Too much hype?) Five days to restore the spirit, and to let the Second Chakra know that I am here on Planet Earth and experiencing it.

So, I didn't have to think a lot about this, I just felt I was doing it. Letting my sensual self have everything she wanted, appreciating it all. And it was good.

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But let me comment a little on some of what's in the book. I scribbled on the margins as I read, and my first scribbled comment was that depression is the antithesis of experiencing a healthy second chakra. In depression, it is impossible, or at least very difficult to experience the joy of being alive. This just really came home to me very forcefully.

I also noticed that my recent urge to go back to a Tai-chi class (I haven't done it yet, but could in the coming weeks) would be very supportive of the 2nd chakra - and possibly all of them, being that it gets a flow going.

Creativity, inventiveness: I think I know when I'm writing, for instance, and feeling "hot" that the power is in the belly, fire in the belly. I know the emptiness too - the feeling there's nothing there. I recognise 2nd chakra as the souce of creativity. I was really glad when I listed the things I would love to create in my life to find that YES, I do have passion and enthusiasm for them.

There was so much in this chapter... I cannot relate all my margin comments. It rings true for me. I can recognise times in my life when I've been well-balanced, and unbalanced here, and the area I really felt was so scary to look at was the last thing I'm going to comment on:

___________________________________-

When it came to the area of Romance and Sexuality, I wanted to just skip over all that, because, being celibate, well - It doesn't really apply. It will only make me sad to be looking at that, feeling the absence, feeling the gap, being aware of what's missing in my life. But the topic was there, and I came to it in my Morning Pages Journal today. I know I am a sexual being, whether or not I'm in a sexual relationship. I am aware of my sexuality. I am a woman. And here's the thing: ---- if I don't allow that I have a sexual nature, then it will become repressed, warped, not healthy. I don't have to be expressing it in reality (in a relationship) to be expressing my self as a sexual person. It's in how I am, and I don't have to be ashamed of being a person with a sexual side to me. Ah. It feels better simply to say that. And the sky didn't fall down. And I didn't get struck by lightning!

Romance..... Now, that's one I thought would make me really sad to consider. Romance. Oh, the nostalgia-fest I could have fallen into. But there were questions in the book that I chose to consider. What would constitute a romantic relationship for me? What would I want in a relationship? And I finally allowed myself to write out what I do want in a man. And it comes down, very simply to wanting a man who has a healthy second chakra himself - someone who is not looking to me, not looking to sexual experience alone, to give him a sense of being alive. I want only to be with someone who knows where to find pleasure in the world without me. And someone who wouldn't feel threatened by my needing to experience the world alone at times myself.

Considering this question, coming to these conclusions, was very important for me. I'm glad I took the challenge of the chapter, and (finally) considered all of this. Perhaps there is much more for me to realise, but for now, I feel I gained a great deal from the second chapter.

Finally ----- my SoulCollage card representing Mermaid Spirit ------- a perfect representation of 2nd Chakra balance to me. I especially love the freedom, the evident sensuality of this image, and the reminder it now gives me of swimming in the Mediterranean!