still here... or here again

Since that last post, I've actually started two posts, but not gotten to the stage of hitting the "publish post" button, thinking I'd get to add pictures, maps, etc.

Main thing is - to anyone who was worried or wondering about me - I'm fine! I'm doing that summer-time thing of taking off on unplanned trips, have been having wonderful times, in fact, along with spending time with my family over the few days around my Mum's first anniversary.

I thank all of you who commented or emailed after that angsty post. The blog is in transition, but I know I'm not comfortable with Facebook, and I do want to stay in a place where I can meet people online, so blogging it is.

Past few weeks... a few of the wonderful things... visiting Newgrange; seeing James Taylor in concert; oh, oh, oh - seeing Leonard Cohen in concert (words fail me!); boat-trip to the Cliffs of Moher (and depositing my wedding-ring in the depths of the Atlantic from there); meals with sisters and friends; family gatherings; driving the entire circuit of Ireland (and more!); seeing great new art.

Knowing I am lucky and blessed. Life is good.

Re-connecting

Look what happens! I wrote about "Disconnected" for Sunday Scribblings and where do I go for the next month-and-a-bit-more? Into somewhere not connected to my blog for sure. I've still read blogs from time to time, and even managed to leave the occasional comment, but am still not properly back on-line. Now that my holidays from work have started, time to get neglected tasks (like having my computer looked) at seen to.

Well... computer problems were only part of the reason for my disappearance. It's been a difficult month, with traumas minor and major, and my attention and energy were elsewhere.

But, as to blogging... I see many bloggers reach a point where there's a dilemma. Questions are asked like "What am I doing here?" This blog has changed since I started it. I've "gone underground" in certain ways. My focus in my life has changed, and there's more that I keep outside of the blog. But there was a time when I shared more of my poetry and the poets that I like, more of myself, and maybe I can return to that a bit.

I don't want to delete the blog, or to stop it. But it can't sit there with nothing happening for months at a time (Why not? I'm only a very occasional blogger on my SoulCollage blog, after all). If there's still anyone out there, what do you think is important about keeping a blog?

This is just a meandering musing, really. I suspect that this will pick up again at a point where something catches my interest and I start to post about it again. A bit like calling an old friend after a gap, and saying "Well... where have you been? What have you been up to? Tell me all..."

Organics... Sunday Scribbling... and another year gone by

Sunday Scribbling's prompt today is "Organic" What does the word mean to you? I've resisted the temptation to go in search of the official meaning before I respond. I've always taken it to have something to do with having respect for the integrity of an organism... allowing natural growth, for instance, without interfering with the use of chemicals and forcing rapid growth. Mostly, it relates to plants, I suppose, but I use the word more often in conversation in terms of internal human processes, and relate to it as a benign force. I find the idea of organic growth comforting - that what's happening is in line with the natural order, I suppose, and in that sense I use it when I speak of our emotional and psychological lives.

Do you remember the movie "Being There"? Chance the Gardener didn't know a lot, but he knew about gardening, and when he spoke of the natural processes of growth and decay, of awaiting the right season for activity, people around him took deep meaning from what he said. I've always found analogies between gardening and life to mean a great deal. I trust that when it feels like nothing is happening, when everything seems dark and dead, that under the surface, life is stirring, shoots are beginning to move towards the light, and that when Spring returns, they will break through the surface, fresh and green. That's been the one fact of life that I've relied on in my most difficult times. I trust that there is an organic process at work, that the soul knows its way, as I described in one of my SoulFragments blog-posts.

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Yesterday was my Blogaversary! 3 years, and what a 3 years it's been! I can hardly believe that, in fact! I know the past year has been scrappy. I went into a cocoon space after my mother's death, and during the past few months I've felt bad about all the blogs I haven't kept up with. - People whose lives have come to be a part of mine, and yet, I've not have the energy to keep up with what's happening for you all.

Can I wish each of you a Happy New Year? And say that even when I don't make appearances at your blogs, or here so much, everything you've given me in your sharing has been part of what has sustained me during the past months.

I'm in a good place now, in fact. The grief process is moving, moving through me - or me through it.

I spent 10 days in Argentina, visiting my son, and what a change that was! Christmas dinner (of the best beef in the world!), in a summer night-time garden, with his friends. I relaxed, read, and we did some touring around Buenos Aires. Beautiful city, but the most special thing about it was that I got to be there with my boy. We visited Eva Peron's resting-place, the museum of Fine Art, and went to see a Tango show. Wow!

So, 2008 is past. 2009's begun. Here's to my 4th year of blogging. I don't know what's ahead, but I think it will develop in its own organic fashion, given time and trust, and if I turn my attention here from time to time. Here's to a good year for all of you, my Sunday Scribbling friends, my blogging friends of all sorts.

Blessings to you.

Sunday Scribbling: "I knew Instantly..."

Dear friends of the Sunday Scribbling community (and beyond). I've been on the "missing list" for over a month, and some of you have been kind enough to leave a comment, or to email asking am I doing OK, and letting me know that you were thinking of me. I'm doing fine, but have taken my energy away from blogging during the past while for a number of reasons; chiefly the process of mourning the loss of my dear mother has given me the urge to coccoon a good deal, but the business of life meant I still needed energy for my work, friends, family, and something had to be allowed to lie fallow, and that something was my blog. I have missed you all, and especially have missed checking in with your blogs as regularly as I used to.

Even though I display a "Blogging without Obligation" button, it is more than anyone could expect that readers would remain loyal in a veritable desert, so I thank those of you who are still around, and I'm afraid I'm making no promises about being here any more regularly from here on. I simply can't, because I don't know if I can make good on promises like that. The coming weeks will be busy - as they are for all of you, I'm sure. I am doing something I've never done before - spending the Christmas holiday away from home, and that's because I'll be spending it with my son - in Argentina! Yes! Buenos Aires! I do promise to report on that in the New Year! But I don't promise to publish any photos of me involved in anything resembling a Tango!


And now... to this week's Sunday Scribbling prompt: It's "I knew instantly..." and I want to share a poem that contains a moment in which I just knew instantly that, alone as I might feel, I was not alone; insecure as I felt, I was protected, and sad as I felt, that I would not always feel that way.


The angels that live in my house:
Rose-quartz, two inches tall,
with folded wings, a gift from my sister;
two carved in ash, with dainty wire wings,
one for wishes, one for freedom;
Hanging in the hallway, with sweet chimes,
a tiny angel, gilt-trimmed;
and holding up a heart - the angel of love.

Two boxes of cards offer Angel-words,
remind me to seek Courage, Patience, Stillness...

And the angel I have never seen,
but that has come twice to hold my hand,
and once - that lonesome Christmas,
as I stood weeping at my kitchen sink,
I felt the warmth and presence,
a gift that came behind me,
to enfold me in gentle wings,
to guard, protect,
to light.

There will be other Sunday Scribblings on the prompt HERE. Go visit!

Passing on an award.

I've been honoured with an award by two of the bloggers whose blogs I admire and greatly enjoy. Judy, at Cheery Tomato Productions, awarded me the Excellent Blog Award "for inspired and inspiring writing", and the blogger known to me only as Inkberry Blue offered me the same award, as a blogger "who creates lyrical, heart~felt, honest and inspiring posts". I feel doubly honoured as much of my output in recent times has felt to me like it's been limited to Friday Feasts or bits of silliness.

Now I'm to pass the award on to just FIVE of the blogs that inspire and delight me. This is a difficult choice, as in creating my bloglines feed list just yesterday (Finally, finally, figured out how to do that!) I discovered that there are 100 - yes, one hundred! - blogs that I check in with on a regular basis, each of which attracts or interests me for a different reason, and all of which have their own charm. Back in February, I was given a "You make my day" award by Deirdre, at Writing Anam Cara, and I passed that award on to ten of the bloggers whose posts lift my heart and inspire me. I'd invite you to go back to that post (HERE), to see who I passed that award on to.

So, this time, I'll not include any of those bloggers - special as they are to me - so that I can introduce you to five others who touch me in some way, and I'll have to make a fairly arbitrary choice!

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1 ...Laume at Beach Treasures was counting down, in a most entertaining and informative way, to a trip to London and Paris, when I encountered her blog. As soon as I commented that I was planning a visit to Paris, she emailed with some really helpful information for me, and followed up with more. I love her photos, and her art blog, too. As is the way with many of the blogs I visit, I can't recall which twist in the path led me to her door, but I'm glad I found her blog.

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2 ... Olivia, at Happyluau writes with deep honesty about her life and her search for healing, peace, understanding. She is inspiring to me in her openness and honesty - and she has a lovely sense of humour.

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3 .... Terri, at Tinkerings, shares her life in photos and her beautiful art and uplifts my heart in the sharing. She is part of a very wide circle of creativity and I get to check in with all of that when I come to a new post on her blog. Her descriptions of outings with her grandgirls, in particular, always touch me with her appreciation of their presence, and the simple activities they all enjoy together.

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4 .... Meg Casey has a huge, open heart and shares from it in prose that is absolutely beautiful. I know my words would be inadequate to explain, so you should just go read.

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5 .... Teresa, at Knitting the Blues, has a fairly eclectic blog with a mix of her life, movie lists, knitting (obviously!), and I love the friendly, homely atmosphere she creates there. I think I probably encountered her during One World One Heart week, and kept going back.

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These are five of the excellent blogs I love to visit. I've left out some great Mommy blogs that give me the vicarious thrill of potty-training and new words. I've left out some great crafty, amazingly creative bloggers. I've left out poets, gardeners, photographers, seekers, preachers, elders, teens, Christians, Muslims, Wiccans and in-betweens. I've had to leave out so many of the great blogs I love to visit, but I hope all of you will visit some of my blog-friends that you haven't met before, and say hello.

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That's what it's really all about!

What's in a Name?

Peta, over at CreateCraft has asked that people post about the inspiration for the name of their blogs, and go comment to let her know they've posted. There's a giveaway of a knitted scarf involved.

I've mentioned in a previous post where my Blog name came from. It's firstly, because I'm Irish (green, you know!), and when I was scouting around for a name to use, and just beginning the whole amazing adventure that is blogging, I felt very unschooled and Green, afraid of appearing silly or naive - Green, right? Plus, while I don't have a zero carbon footprint, (I drive a petrol-thirsty car, and I travel by air whenever I get a chance to go abroad, but there are good reasons for both, related to financial constraints and sanity), I do care a great deal for the environment. I'm Green(ish). I have a worm-compost bin. I go to the bottle-bank, the can-bank, etc. I do not replace appliances unless they have died. I snuggle in a blanket rather than crank up the heat. Most of my lightbulbs are CFL. OK, OK, I don't always buy local food. OK, maybe I'm only slightly Green(ish), but I'm entitled to the name. And Lady? I don't appreciate being called a lady anywhere else. Elsewhere, I'm a woman. I figure I earned that title. But here, for some reason "lady" seemed to fit... So, there you have it, the thinking behind the wildly original and creative title for my blog..... GreenishLady.

Interesting question, Peta. I often wonder, but seldom ask, so thank you for asking. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the answers!

WINNER!!!!

I've just made the draw for my One World One Heart Giveaway, and the winner was the 23rd commenter of 104 (comment #105 was to tell me that I had won a prize!!!). The lucky recipient of my handmade book is Linda, who told me she'd been a long-time reader of my blog, although I hadn't known that at all. In other words - a lurker won the prize! Isn't that wonderful? And I know she was really reading, because when I went to look at her blog (I have visited all those who commented here - and quite a few more OWOH participants besides), back among her archives was a post in which she mentions her favourite poets - and lo and behold! There was my name! I blush!

I'm absolutely delighted to share another few of my poems with Linda,

AND, AND, AND,

How did I get to be so lucky?

I have won no less than FIVE prizes in One World One Heart! I was really excited about picking "my" winner, but this puts jam on it altogether! I really feel blessed with all the wonderful gifts coming my way. But the best gift of all has been meeting so many bloggers whose paths had not yet crossed with mine. I want to thank Lisa from the bottom of my heart for arranging this wonderful event.

I'll make a post later tonight showing the goodness I'm being gifted with, but wanted to announce the winner of my giveaway today!

Hope everyone is having a happy and love-filled Valentine's Day!

Who Makes my Day?

I have been honoured by Deirdre at Writing Anam Cara (I love her blog name, because I know what it means... it means "Soul Friend", and the words resonate in a deep place within me) with an award that is being passed from blogger to blogger. It says "You make my Day" and she named me along with 9 (or did she mention 10? 11?) other bloggers whose blogs mean something special to her.

When I say "honoured", I really mean that I do feel honoured to be in the company of the people she named in her post. And I feel a bit overwhelmed when I am asked to select just 10 from all the blogs I check in with regularly and say that those are the ones that make my day. It has made my day over the past couple of days, participating in One World One Heart, and browsing around participants, to meet new-to-me blogs with something about them that captivated me. Some, I meant to just drop by, and found myself running back through archived posts, looking to see how did that blog start, evolve... learning more of the person who was sharing in their little corner of blogland.

I digress. Or perhaps I do not. What I am saying is that it is difficult. There are a couple of people whose blogs have been really important sources of inspiration and joy for me who have chosen recently to close down their blogs, or to take a break from blogging while they do other things, decide on direction, give their energy to new projects, so they will not be named here. There are many blogs I visit regularly and I am going to offer - in no particular order - ten that always make me happy to see a new post.

1...Christine at Notes from the Laundromat. She is going for her dreams. She makes wonderful wire art. She makes my day today when I read what she wrote about taking a big jump in her life: "Going for the gusto, the big dream requires taking a leap, walking into uncertainty and going with your gut, hoping that your intuition does not fail you and that you can hold on, trusting that God is faithful and will not let you wander too far off course.

2... Lisa Oceandreamer at Heart of the Nest. Because she too dreams big. And risks. And is generous of heart, of spirit, with her energy and time and art. And because she is responsible for One World One Heart.

3... Jessie, at Diary of a Self-Portrait. Because she is brave (even when she doesn't feel brave). And because she shares so many aspects of her life. She has a beautifully-designed blog, too. I love that painting in the bottom left corner. Gives me a feeling of loose freedom to see that when I click to go visit. And because she makes wonderful art. And loves dogs.

4... Julie Marie at Celtic Woman. She makes my day with the eclectic information she gathers and offers, the pictures and paintings and cards she finds to share. Her book-loving is infectious, and impressive, and her sense of humour is wonderful.

5... Cate at Kerrdelune offers photographs and words that always allow me to sink down a little more towards a place of peace and calm. She is wise and my words are absolutely inadequate to describe the oasis that is her blog.

6... Fran at Sacred Ordinary. I believe hers was the first blog I began to read, and it was through her that I found my way to the Artist's Way group for which I decided to set up my blog. I love that her blogging is part of her spiritual practice, and that one day she can have a post addressing a deep philosophical question, followed by the "ordinary" details of her day, followed by some piece of beauty or, as this week, an account of a reading by Mary Oliver which transported me, and had me brushing tears from my cheeks.

7... Liz at Be Present, Be here. Because she is loving and kind, open and willing to be however she might be. I love her enthusiasms, love seeing the fabrics she is so excited by at the moment on her blog.

8... Lisa at Groggy Froggy. She makes wonderfull dolls. She is another believer. And she is a SoulCollage sister, and her blog makes me happy. Her happiness with her Patrick makes me happy.

9... Becca at Becca's Byline. She writes beautifully. She's started up a wonderful bookish blog lately, called Bookstack, too. One of the things that really makes my day about Becca is the generous, encouraging comments I see her leaving on so many people's posts for Sunday Scribbling.

... and, although she's on a blogging hiatus in order to make some inroads into her own personal bookstack, I'm finishing this particular list with

10... Amber at The Believing Soul because she is feisty and brght and irreverant and real and because she absolutely adores her kids and is so proud of them and writes wonderful stuff that lifts my heart.

Whew! And the amazing thing is... these are a few of the wonderful, amazing (oops, just used that word twice!) women who make my day so often. By being there, by turning up here, by offering a few words just when I need them, by being believing mirrors all. I know that many will have been awarded the "You Make My Day" badge already, in some cases many times over, but that doesn't matter, because no matter how many other people have already said it, I want to say it here to each of them.

........You Make My Day.......

2nd Blogiversary

Two years ago today, I took the step. I know the archives suggest that I began in october 2005, but that was just a pretend-post to fix my profile picture or something like that. No, it was 11th January when I posted my first proper post. Ok. There was one on 10th January, which consisted of the immortal words "A test to see whether this will work... Out there... ???", to which three kind souls replied, and so began the adventure that was/is this blog. The impetus to start a blog came from the urge to join the online group following The Artist's Way, led by Leah, who is now leading the Creative Every Day 2008 group.

I'm a fairly boring blogger, stuck in my ways. I haven't changed the design (template?) in any way in all this time. Only recently, I went in to change the words on my profile which described me as "heading towards fifty" to the more correct (now) "just past fifty". The rest of that description still holds true, though. I love the new paths and alleyways I get to explore through blogging. Last week, and this, I've encountered new-to-me blogs (I know - among the thousands, millions maybe... that are out there) which thrilled me, encouraged me, inspired me, humbled me, and which I've had to add to my list of blogs to check in with whenever I have a chance. I've never acquired the technical skill to allow me to make big changes, and I'm still at a total loss as to how to do what I see other people do regarding "feeds" and "subscribing". It's all a mystery to me. But that's a side-track there - right there!

My first post was about slaying (no, not slaying... reassuring!) my Creative Monsters. They still come to visit from time to time, telling me my blog is a pointless exercise, that it's sheer self-indulgence, blah-blah-blah, but these days, they don't stay long, and I usually manage to simply turn them around and say "Come back when you've something useful to tell me!" In that post too, I finished with this quote:

We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness. ---Thich Nhat Hanh

The blog-world has been one of the most powerful instruments to convince me of how un-separate, how connected we all are. People do come and go here. I wonder about some of the people who have disappeared. Did they start other blogs elsewhere? I realise there are blogs I've lost my connection to. When I changed computers I lost a lot of my links, and some just never re-emerged for me.

In working The Artist's Way, in meeting others along the same path, I found such community, such a sense of being held and welcomed, cheered along, understood, it became possible to really envision things I would have previously dismissed. This is how I took the step of booking to travel to the US for the first time, to take SoulCollage(R) facilitator training, to travel at times alone, and to discover - for myself - a whole new world.

This was not the only new venture for me since I began the blog. I've qualified as a Bach Flower Remedy Practitioner, I've graduated from university. I've become a member of the regular workforce. I've written ad nauseum about many of those things. I've written for Sunday Scribblings and for Poetry Thursday. While I haven't gotten into a regular habit of writing for Writers' Island, and my weekly Haiku have all-but fallen by the wayside, I keep their buttons on my sidebar, because I love such ventures. I love that, all over blogland there are groups and communities forming, melding, shifting, evolving, opening to receive new members, and that there is such goodwill, such kindness, such genuine positive energy being shared with no agenda, for the most part. Most of the blogs I visit have no advertising. There is no gain other than connection, nothing I experience other than the open-heartedness of one human being for others who pass their way.

I've read back over my archives during the past couple of weeks. I've surprised myself that there are insights and pieces of writing here and there of which I could say "I like that a lot". This blog has been a companion and a friend to me, a home and an open door, through which have come so many wonderful people, with your questions and comments.

I'm looking forward to the next two years. I don't know what they will hold. I know some of the plans and intentions I have for them, but I don't know how they will manifest exactly. I do know that I would like to still be here, still turning up, still doing my disappearing-act now and then, and still returning refreshed and re-energised.

This blog has become my home. You are my neighbours. I love when you pop in for a cup of coffee. I really value the deep, important things you say, and the "How's it going? Nice day!" shout-outs. I'm not naming anyone, because the list is too, too long, and I don't want to leave anyone out, but I hope you all know that I value you more than any words can say.

Blessings to you all, my friends.

Friday Feast; Blogiversary; Etc, Etc.

There's a weekly meme I've seen on many blogs from time to time, and I've always been intrigued, and thought "Oh, I'd like to join in on that", but I very seldom seem to come across it on Friday, which is the point, so I'd say to myself, "Oh, well.... next week. I'll join in next week", and then I'd forget on Friday to check the questions, and on Sunday, I'd spot it on someone's blog, and say "Oh......" and so the cycle has gone for months now.

BUT today is Friday, and I went over there - to Friday's Feast, and picked up today's questions, so here's my first venture into Friday's Feast:

Appetizer What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called?

My middle name is Christina (I usually say Christine, which I prefer), after my maternal Grandmother. When I was small, I loved those moments when my mother would use Amelia as a really affectionate alternative to my first name (Imelda), but I'm not sure I'd want to be called anything other than the name I've now carried for 50 years.

Soup If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most?

I'm thinking I'd like to bring back cheesecloth, tunics with lots of embroidery. The clothes I wore when I was 15 or 16. Afghan coats - what I wished for and never had. More embroidery. Hippie stuff. Mixtures of rainbow colours.

Salad What is your least favorite chore, and why?

My least favourite chore... hmm... cleaning floors. Doesn't matter whether that means vacuuming, sweeping or mopping. I don't believe in just half-doing it, so it's a production of moving furniture, lifting things off the floor... so I end up sweaty, exhausted, and with a sore back, BUT I just love the result. I feel really satisfied with myself when the floors are all gleaming / fluff-free.

Main Course What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life?

For many people in Ireland, the hugely destructive tsunami of a few years ago was the first time they'd ever really thought about tidal waves. Some had to be told what the word 'tsunami' meant, but as far back as I can remember, I've had a fear of tidal waves. Makes no logical sense - in that I don't live in a place that's likely to be hit by one, but at times, I can be looking out to sea, and begin to imagine that wall of water coming towards me... oh, makes me shudder even to speak of it. Trace it back? Well... I had a near-drowning accident swimming in a river when I was maybe 8 years old (My cousin pulled me out. I don't think we ever told the adults!) and it's possible that I learnt of tidal waves about the same time, and connected in to the feeling...

By the way, it doesn't stop me from enjoying being by the sea. But driving on the Northern California/Oregon coast when I first visited the US in 2006, I had a moment or two when I began to notice these signs. It didn't force me inland, but I can't say it was comfortable knowing the possibility was real there.

Dessert Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment.

I'm sitting on one of my living-room couches (cream leather), tucked up with one chennille throw and one mohair. Cosy, cosy. And I can see through my window (1) the Southern sky filled with bright white clouds, and sillhouetted against them,(2) bare tall birches, one of which contains (3) a long-abandoned bird's nest

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If you decide to join in, go let them know over at Friday's Feast, won't you.

Today's my Two-Year Blogiversary! I can hardly believe it. I was going to say something here, but I think that deserves a post all of its own, actually, so ..... later.....

Saturday & Sunday Scribblings, Scraps, Stuff

It's been a week since I posted here, but because I blog without obligation, I know I don't need to apologise for being absent, but I did wish I had time to drop by Writers' Island, and to chase down this week's location for the Travelling Poetry Show, perhaps to post something, or even to say hello to my pals and just say "Sorry not to have time to visit properly". So, even if I know there's no obligation per se, I feel the gap and want to do something to bridge it, if only by waving and shouting "Hi there" as I rush by. When I went looking for this week's Travelling Poetry Show, I found it's winding up too. So whoever feels the urge will just continue to use Thursday as a Poetry day, and post a poetry-related something on Thursdays. I'd like to do that occasionally.
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It's been a busy week. My work's finally moved into gear. It took a long time, but I'm now up to my full complement of work, and it's going to take me some time to get a smooth schedule running.

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My sister came up for a short visit, too, so we had a couple of evenings out, and went visiting. I really enjoyed having her here. I think she needed to come to check that I really, really am ok since losing Trixie. I am ok. I still feel unutterably sad at times, but the times are becoming fewer, and shorter, and I am getting on with all the other things of life that are important for my wellbeing.

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Last Saturday, I spent at a poetry workshop followed by readings in a magical place,

with a crowd of wonderful poets. There was good food, great music, storytelling, candlelight, tears, and it fed my soul in a special way. On Tuesday evening, I got together with my writers' group, and tomorrow, I'll be away to an afternoon of poetry with a few of Ireland's best-loved poets. (Am I a lucky girl? Do I know it?.... Yes!!)

My camera and computer aren't playing nice together, so I cannot post a picture of the lovely gift that the wonderful Kara sent me. She sent one of her creative heart seeds. To hold it in my hand gives me comfort. It is a beautiful little talisman. AND she sent one of her precious daily lumps - a coyote, with just the energy that my heart and home need with the absence of Trixie so present (if that isn't too strange a contradiction-in-terms for you!)right now. I've put these two tokens on my hallway altar, just where I've left Trixie's collar for now. The lovely reaching out of blogging friends has given me great comfort. There have been emails and poems, and I know that many of you have sent prayers and special thoughts my way. I know that it has all helped. Thank you to all of you.

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And now.... There's a word used in the blogging community that I don't particularly like, even though I know it isn't always really used negatively, but LURKING (the word) smacks of something sinister to me, while I know that many people who read blogs without commenting do so for a whole range and variety of reasons. When I first discovered blogs, I read quite a few regularly, but never knew where the space really was for me to step in and say "Hi!". I felt there were groups of people who knew one another well, commented out of a familiarity with the background of the blogger, and that they were welcome to participate in the chat around any post. It felt to me like jumping in would be making myself comfortable in someone's living-room, without being sure the invitation was really there for me. My admiration for the blogs brought me back time and again, and my shyness kept me from saying anything. So I have been a lurker. I still am on a few blogs where I'm not sure what to say. Then there are Typepad and Wordpress blogs that can be just simply awkward to post comments to, and when I try, I end up seeming to be anonymous when that's not what I meant to happen.

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It's a minefield, in other words! And I understand! I have no idea whether there is anyone who visits here that's not yet commented. I don't have a sitemeter or any way of knowing how many "hits" I get. Maybe there's nobody. Maybe there are people who know me, and think I'd be bothered by their appearing here. But if you are out there, and you haven't said hello yet, come on and say hello now. I'm told it's National Delurking Week. I'll choose to call it "National Beat-your-Blogger-Shyness week" and invite you in.

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This week, for the first time in 80 weeks, there isn't a prompt for Sunday Scribblings. Some people are feeling very discommoded in the absence of a prompt, so they've turned the "Sorry, No Prompt" post into a prompt, and in a sense that's what this post has been, too. A weekend post, catching up with no particular focus, but a wish to connect in here, to let my BlogLand pals know I'm doing fine, and to just touch base with some of what brings me here. Now to finish, and try to get around to visit some of you. If I don't stop by, know that I think of all of you, and hope October has started well for you all.

200th Post

Little did I know when I said I'd like to do a creative giveaway on my 200th post that it would fall at a time when I'd be feeling like this. (Yes, I knew on one level, but I didn't want to think about it. I didn't know exactly how I'd be feeling). I'm not in a place for creating very much right now, but I do want to offer something to my friends out there, so I will have something to send to those of you who email me with your postal addresses. It may take me a little while to get it organised, but rest assured, it will happen.

Fran asked in the comments on my Sunday Scribblings post, "How are you feeling today?" Well, I'm ok. I'm sad. I'm getting on with the business of life - work and meetings. I've been cooking up a storm over the past couple of days (I do that at times of stress. Chop vegetables, stir soups. Fill the freezer). I'm carrying Trixie's collar in my pocket. My sister's bridal bouquet lies on her resting-place, but that has reached the end of its life, and will need to be taken away to the compost-bin soon.

This morning, I wrote my morning pages for the first time since last Thursday. I usually write 3 full pages, sitting on the couch, with my feet up. Last Thursday, I wrote only one page, and put them aside, as Trixie was nudging at my leg, wanting to be on my lap. She hated my writing. It kept her off my lap. That last morning, I put the notebook aside, and left her climb up, and we sat a while. I'm glad now that I did that.

Today, picking up the notebook, I felt really sad that she wouldn't be nudging at my leg, that she wouldn't be circling on the couch looking for a comfy spot, and that she wouldn't eventually settle into the crook of my knee to sleep. There's this void. This space that Trixie used to fill. This absence.
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This is such a BAD 200th post. I should be celebrating all I've gained from blogging, and thanking and celebrating all my fellow-bloggers. I should be linking to favourite places and maybe reminding you of milestones along the journey that's brought me here.

But let me say this: I am sharing with you what I haven't yet been able to share with some of my other friends. I'm finding a place here where I can process this experience, where there is understanding at a level that brings me great comfort.

The bonds of friendship forged here, in the connections between bloggers are deep, and I want to thank all of you for that. For the humour, the sharing, the being there, the accepting that sometimes we are away, and we come back; for the glimpses into your lives, for the questions you pose and the ideas you suggest; for the pointers to new writers, artists and creative paths. For all of these things I am thankful.

Namaste, my blogging friends. Blessings to you all

It's Tuesday. A Gift

I can't post today, because something's gone wong with my PC and the lette R is sticking all the time, and I am cusing because it's diving me cazy. So soy not to be witing about the big family day last week when my siste got maied.

See? Diving me cazy.

Housekeeping---- My blogroll

For months past, I've been reminding myself that the blogroll in my sidebar is out of date. I hadn't kept it up by adding new blogs which I customarily visit (though they're on my favourites on my laptop), and I know there are some defunct blogs which I had kept sitting there (in hope that they might suddenly come back to life - sometime). Some blogpals have moved from Blogger to other (what's the word? Servers?) - You know, Typepad or such, and I hadn't updated their addresses.

Well, my halo should be shining brightly, because I've just spent an hour or more checking that everything over there is up-to-date and shipshape. I realised there are quite a few wonderful blogs I visit that hadn't made it at all into the list, and now that they are there, I am hoping that you too will discover them. So, I'm inviting you to scan the list and go check out one or two of the unfamiliar names.

This exercise has just given me a renewed appreciation of the community of bloggers I've been lucky enough to fall into. There are bloggers who are artists, writers, spiritual thinkers, Mamas, walkers, nature-photographers, poets, dreamers, schemers, wishers, SoulCollagers, cartoonists, crafters, jewelry-makers, teachers, helpers, travellers; People coping with the things life comes along with for all of us. There are empty-nesters, young Mums, people dealing with transition in work, in relationships, in study; people trying out new ways of life; people living with illness, battling and singing; people working through loss and adjusting to gains. I'm tempted to start putting links in here, but then I'd have to be leaving some people out, and I don't want to do that.

What I do want to do is to say thank you to all of my friends in BlogLand for your open-hearted ways, for sharing your days and your art, for your constant presence in my life. I feel very rich for knowing all of you. Every blessing to you all.

Catching up on Life

This is what happens: Life gets busy, but I still get to check up on blogs I read, I click on the Poetry Thursday or Sunday Scribbling site, and I write a piece and post it, and there you are - my blog's got somethig new on it, and a few days pass, and the same thing happens, and next thing, I've really not shared at all in the way I used to...

So, these are pieces of my life from the past few weeks:

Shopping with my sister for her wedding-gown. this was a highlight for me - a wonderful, heart-filling, happy, special time that came unplanned and like a gift. She will be a beautiful bride at her September wedding.

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This week, the beginning of my employment in my new job, starting with induction training, familiarising myself with the organisation, and meeting a lot of new co-workers. Spending 3 days away from home, making new friends, finding questions, handling nerves, anxiety, realising that everything I experience can be reflected as something a counselling client might experience too. Breathing.

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My second public SoulCollage workshop last Saturday. - 8 women exploring through image the parts of themselves that felt like making themselves known that day. Watching, being with, witnessing the unfoldment. Feeling honoured to be present for that. Being glad I've been gifted with this treasure and allowed to share it.

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Five months after the painters finished in my house, I finally got around to putting up some hooks and hanging my precious collection of artworks about my house. I keep smiling as I look around my walls. I feel so lucky to have such beautiful art in my home.

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Yesterday, went with some friends to Belfast to read at a poetry event. A generous-spirited poetry reading at which 12 poets each read one of their own poems, and a poem by a favourite foreign poet. The atmosphere was respectful without being over-precious, and the energy and enthusiasm of the largely young audience was infectious. A wonderful evening. A gift.

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This morning, having stayed over, my friend Clare and I visited the botanic gardens. Birdsong, the scent of wallflowers, this and much more:

Earlier this week, an early-morning call from a dear friend, planning to visit Ireland for the first time in July. - Anticipating the fun we will have exploring and discovering new places, or previously-visited, but worth-revisiting sites.

Life is good. Life is full. After days of sunshine, the rain has returned tonight. A necessary drenching for the garden. And if the sun comes out again over the next few days, I'm ready to get out there and weed a bit, tidy a bit, ready for the summer.

Blogiversary! New day, New year !

It's a year today since I started my blog in order to follow along with 100 others as we worked The Artist's Way. What a year it's been!

I've been away over Christmas and the New year, and stayed away a little longer than I'd intended, and then, strangely, when I got home, the impulse to post wasn't there. There didn't seem to be anything to say. I'm gone into a little cocoon of no writing, no blogging, a hibernation-of-sorts. BUT I am aware of the date. I am aware of the wonderful community I fell into this time last year, and the marvellous , amazing, inspiring sharing I've been priviliged to participate in during that year.

I want to thank all the bloggers who have come by here during the year, and to say I'll be back. I will be back!

If it's not Thursday or Sunday, what then?

I realise this blog has shifted again over the past few months, into a space I use to post for Poetry Thursday or Sunday Scribblings, and not much else. My SoulCollage cards are on my SoulFragments blog and Trixie does a bit of musing for me on her blog, so what else might I be doing here? There was the beginning of reading True Balance, and I posted my reflections here on the first and second chapters - relating to the first and second chakras. Then, September came, I went off on a trip (oh, I did post a small slide-show on that wonderful trip to the South of France, didn't I?), and when I came home, there were classes to prepare, plans to put in place for the redecoration of my house... It's not surprising that, while I kept up with reading a lot of blogs, I didn't post a whole lot here about my life. I was too busy just trying to keep it going in the real world. And then, I signed up for NaNoWriMo, and achieved my target - completed a 50098-word novel in the 30 days of November, while simultaneously juggling painters, flooring-men and having a dose of shingles (What? Stress? Me?)

So, what is the blog about, then? Yes, it started to chart the Artist's Way, and that was wonderful, and the community of bloggers it introduced me to has been such a source of inspiration, encouragement and sheer fun for me this year, it's been hugely important. I think what I've lost sight of in ways is that as January began this year, I had no idea this world existed, no idea of the possibilities, potential and capacity there was in blogging. I'm sure I haven't used it to its fullest potential for me (and I've been fascinated with the journey of so many of the people who began the Artist's Way at the same time), but I realise that doing this is in itself another creative expression that I haven't really given myself credit for.

When I had my birthday at the start of this month, I did what has become a tradition for me and wrote a list of what's been special about this year. I included Blogging, but I didn't really focus on it as something I learnt or achieved. It was scary to begin with. Internet? EEEK! Posting pictures, creating links... it was all new to me. Kara helped. Kat helped. What I realised was that if I hit a snag, someone else had been there just before me, and had worked it out, and then later in the year, I found I sometimes was the "someone" for a new blogger who wanted to know how to do something I'd figured out.

During this year, I've completed a great deal... projects that I've dreamt about have come to fruition. I finally graduated with my degree in psychology (an 8-year journey), completed my training as a Bach Flower Remedy practitioner (3 years), got to travel to the US (lifetime ambition), to train as a SoulCollage(R) facilitator (dream engendered at my first ever encounter with the process more than 3 years ago). I mustered the energy and resources to transform my home from the drab place in which my marriage came to an end to a light-filled, warm space in which I begin the next phase of my life. Hey! I even wrote a novel! I had my national radio debut! I've had poems published in a couple of journals. I've met wonderful people - online, in reality, here at home and on my travels. I've stood on the shores of three oceans. I've spread out the pieces of myself - the good, the bad, the miserable, the joyful, all the shades in between, and I've been pleased that this year has been a year of forward motion, a year in which I've been glad to be alive, and glad to be me.

End of November.....

Tonight's big news is that I made it to the enf of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and achieved the goal of writing 50,000 words of a novel (50098, in fact). It's not pretty. It's not smart. It's not a lot of things, but it's 50,000 words more than I would have done had I not taken the challenge. Through home redecoration, and a bout of illness, I wrote, and I am proud of myself for coming through my first attempt at this challenge. There is nothing about it that I regret! Hurrah!

One other thing --- I am sorry that I've had to turn on comment verification, but there was too much spam appearing, and I realised it's not just a nuisance to me, but to anyone wishing to read the comments or to leave one, too.

Taking a break from the keyboard tonight, celebrating my BIRTHDAY tomorrow, and I'll be back to "normal" over the weekend! Thanks to everyone who offered encouragement and support during November. This Blogging community is just wonderful, and I count myself very lucky to have stumbled in here.