200th Post
Little did I know when I said I'd like to do a creative giveaway on my 200th post that it would fall at a time when I'd be feeling like this. (Yes, I knew on one level, but I didn't want to think about it. I didn't know exactly how I'd be feeling). I'm not in a place for creating very much right now, but I do want to offer something to my friends out there, so I will have something to send to those of you who email me with your postal addresses. It may take me a little while to get it organised, but rest assured, it will happen.
Fran asked in the comments on my Sunday Scribblings post, "How are you feeling today?" Well, I'm ok. I'm sad. I'm getting on with the business of life - work and meetings. I've been cooking up a storm over the past couple of days (I do that at times of stress. Chop vegetables, stir soups. Fill the freezer). I'm carrying Trixie's collar in my pocket. My sister's bridal bouquet lies on her resting-place, but that has reached the end of its life, and will need to be taken away to the compost-bin soon.
This morning, I wrote my morning pages for the first time since last Thursday. I usually write 3 full pages, sitting on the couch, with my feet up. Last Thursday, I wrote only one page, and put them aside, as Trixie was nudging at my leg, wanting to be on my lap. She hated my writing. It kept her off my lap. That last morning, I put the notebook aside, and left her climb up, and we sat a while. I'm glad now that I did that.
Today, picking up the notebook, I felt really sad that she wouldn't be nudging at my leg, that she wouldn't be circling on the couch looking for a comfy spot, and that she wouldn't eventually settle into the crook of my knee to sleep. There's this void. This space that Trixie used to fill. This absence.
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This is such a BAD 200th post. I should be celebrating all I've gained from blogging, and thanking and celebrating all my fellow-bloggers. I should be linking to favourite places and maybe reminding you of milestones along the journey that's brought me here.
But let me say this: I am sharing with you what I haven't yet been able to share with some of my other friends. I'm finding a place here where I can process this experience, where there is understanding at a level that brings me great comfort.
The bonds of friendship forged here, in the connections between bloggers are deep, and I want to thank all of you for that. For the humour, the sharing, the being there, the accepting that sometimes we are away, and we come back; for the glimpses into your lives, for the questions you pose and the ideas you suggest; for the pointers to new writers, artists and creative paths. For all of these things I am thankful.
Namaste, my blogging friends. Blessings to you all
Labels: 200th post, blogging, Trixie
posted by GreenishLady @ 10:06 am
11 Comments:
Your 200th blog post is as it should be, a post that honors us by sharing what is in the landscape of your heart. Right now that landscape is filled with memories of Trixie who loved your lap, loved you, and that you can share this with us is a wonderful gift to us all and a rich and rewarding 200th blog post. I would say well done on this most special blog post but I will just say, Thank you for the treasure of this sharing and for all of the posts that preceded this 200th.
Marti
Marti
This 200th post is a genuine slice of you, and the fact that you wrote and shared it is celebration enough of blogging.
What is so interesting is what we create at the times we don't feel creative. Don't push yourself with obligation, but perhaps approach creating with no expectation and see what happens. You might be amazed.
((Hugs to you))
(((((((YOU))))))))
We put you and Trixie in our prayers at bedtime. And little voices saying 'God Bless' holds extra Light, you know. ;)
Now that we have Mickey, Wyatt seemed to really feel bad for your loss. So we are sending good thoughts your way.
:)
I love reading what's real, and I do think of you everyday.
My son's coming to get Duke this weekend if he can trade shifts with a co-worker. I'm going to take him hiking today or tomorrow, and I know I'll cry my fool head off.
Happy 200th and thank you for sharing your life. I have Manny's collar in my nightstand and look at his picture everyday. Time has dulled the ache.
I loved your SS and know about your beliefs. I enjoyed your honesty and allowing us in to your beautiful life.
CA awaits your return! XXOO
I wish your 200th had fallen on a happier day, I wish your beloved Trixie were still with you. But wishes and words are as nothing sometimes. Perhaps a ((((hug)))) will do?
I have to second Marti's comment. No matter the number of posts, blogging is about sharing the "landscape of your life" and the feelings of your heart.
I know how sad you are feeling, and it's a perfect response to the loss of that small friend who was so dear. I hope the love and support of all these loving hearts out in the universe helps in some way to make you feel less alone as you sit with your tablet to write.
Feel proud of all the words and ideas you have shared in these 200 posts. I feel honored to have read them :)
((hugs to you))
It isn't a bad 200th post. I wish I could take away the pain and you could be writing your 200th post with your beloved Trixie at your lap. Yet this post is real. It has heart just like all you other posts. Though your heart is aching right now - you are writing through that heartache and sharing yourself and that is good - something to celebrate. It is a reason I cherish coming here. Be gentle with yourself. Sending you hugs, Kara
It's a perfect 200th post. You've shared something precious and reminded us (me) of the small, wonderful things that make up daily life. I'm going now to find my Miss and spend a little time with her.
I hope you'll keep writing here - I'm looking forward to the next 200 posts.
Dear Imelda - I missed this post, just blithely waltzing by last night - and found it today, when I came back to see how you were faring after the fete last night. Congratulations on your 200th post - and you know, I think that is one of the wonderful things about blogging, unlike our day to day lives, it can be whatever we want or need it to be. Sending you many ((hugs)) some for congratulations and some for consoling, and some just because you're you, and you share this part of yourself with us. xox
Namaste Imelda, I'm sorry I missed reading this sooner, but I'm so glad I found it tonight. A belated congratulations! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here.
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