GreenishLady

Originally Blogging the Artist's Way. Thoughts, musings, experience of the 12-week course, January to March 2006. And after that?.... Life, creativity, writing. Where does it all meet? Here, perhaps.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Life Goes On


I've been in touch with many of the people who offered their sympathies on my mother's passing, but there may be some of you I've missed, who've wondered how I've been.

It's four weeks today since her death, and life does indeed, go on. My sister has just become a step-granny! A beautiful baby girl has entered this world, and we welcome her!
...
It has seemed strange to me at times over these weeks that there can be such a depth of sadness, such a sense of loss, so many tears, and yet, at the same time, we can be laughing, enjoying music or a poem, but this is just as my mother would have wanted it. She didn't dwell at length on instructions about when she died, but two things she did make very clear were that (1) she didn't want any artificial flowers on her grave. [That was so well-known, that we didn't even need to tell people. Of the 50+ wreaths and bouquets that came, none had a hint of anything artificial about them]; and (2) that we (my sisters and I) were not to wear black after her funeral. Some of my aunts wore mourning for a long, long, time after my grandmother's death, and my mother told us we were not to do that for her. She loved to see us in bright, cheerful colours, and that is what she would want. I have a good deal of black in my wardrobe, but when I wear it, it's just because it's there, and not because I'm in mourning.
...
My mother would want us to get on with our lives, to have fun, to enjoy the good things in the world, as she did.
...
I've posted the SoulCollage® card that my sister made just a couple of weeks prior to Mam's death. She's there at various stages in her life - prior to her marriage; on her wedding-day; as a young mother (I'm the baby on her lap in the upper right); and as the mother of a growing family. This card is a lovely mememto, and my father has been greatly comforted by it, with its reminders of all those times.
....
I really have appreciated all the kind words, the thoughts and prayers that you have sent my way in these weeks. So many people have shared their own stories of loss and bereavement, and offered their wisdom about the need to be gentle with myself. I'm listening, and taking that to heart. Thank you all.
...
She would have been so happy to hear about the new baby entering our extended family today.

Labels: , ,

19 Comments:

At 6/8/08 11:22 am, Blogger Claire said...

What a beautiful post. I'm thinking of you at this challenging time, sweetheart.

Cxx

 
At 6/8/08 11:53 am, Blogger Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Oh, so happy for the new baby in your family. And I love the card as well, so rich with family and love.
I'm with your Mom, no artificial flowers. My grandmother had a real thing for BLUE artificial flowers, she thought they were hideous!
Live well, dear Imelda, day by day, your Mama is proud of you, this I know for sure.

 
At 6/8/08 12:08 pm, Blogger Patty said...

What a beautiful card ! Loss is , an empty spot filled with longing. But memories help fill up some of the space.
A new baby always is a blessing but especially so at a time like this.
I have told my family the very same thing about artificial flowers. Don't want any

 
At 6/8/08 4:38 pm, Blogger Deirdre said...

Your mother was lovely ... what a great smile she had.

Life does go on, surprisingly. I'm glad you're finding the small joys in each day. And congratulations on the new baby.

 
At 6/8/08 9:36 pm, Blogger Becca said...

How wonderful to have a new baby enter your family just now, and I'm sure your mom is smiling about that :)

The Soul Collage card is just breathtaking.

 
At 7/8/08 12:28 am, Blogger Lulda Casadaga said...

Sorry for your lose...and just yesterday (Aug 5th) was the 13th anniversary of my dads passing.
I almost didn't remember..sorry dad...but, he is with me, everyday...the great memories, the DNA, the heritage. What more could you say...oh, yes..thank you dad for the good genes...I still don't look 53 and please tell those AARP people to leave me alone!

OK, I'm listening to ENYA here across the pond and sending you warm, positive thoughts. :)

 
At 7/8/08 12:49 am, Anonymous tinker said...

What a beautiful SoulCollage card and post. Your mother looks so lovely throughout the years.

What a truly loving thought your mother had - that loved ones not carry on forever in mourning, but continue on, brightly shining, in living color.

Life does go on - and there's nothing like a new little one in the family to show that and bring new joy, even through tears. Congratulations, Imelda - to all of your family on your newest member~xo

 
At 7/8/08 12:57 am, Anonymous tinker said...

I came back because I felt called to share this quote with you, that I just found on Gemma's blog:

Become the sky
Walk out like someone
Suddenly born into color
Do it now
*Rumi*

Somehow, in my mind, that seemed to fit together with your post...

 
At 7/8/08 2:39 am, Blogger Julie said...

Hello, my dear,

As I said in my e-mail, I hope you are healing a little bit each day. "Baby Steps."

 
At 7/8/08 1:46 pm, Anonymous colleen said...

Emotions run the gamut during the loss of a loved one. I remember after my brothers died our family was on my mother's front porch. You would have thought we were having a party by how loud and how much laughter there was. In fact we were heartbroken but also telling stories.

I love the soul collage. Your mother reminds me of my aunt Gertie whose been gone quite a while.

 
At 7/8/08 1:47 pm, Anonymous colleen said...

Emotions run the gamut during the loss of a loved one. I remember after my brothers died our family was on my mother's front porch. You would have thought we were having a party by how loud and how much laughter there was. In fact we were heartbroken but also telling stories.

I love the soul collage. Your mother reminds me of my aunt Gertie whose been gone quite a while.

 
At 7/8/08 10:23 pm, Blogger Olivia said...

I too love the soul collage. What a wonderful way to heal and to continue to honor the memory of your mother. Peace and rest, O xxoo

 
At 10/8/08 8:22 pm, Blogger Amber said...

I am happy for the new life, but so sorry for your loss of your mom.

Grief is such a personal ride. And it can take one by surprise sometimes, the direction it can take. I hope you allow yourself the space and time to just feel how you feel. The loss of a mother is...hard.

Please know I am with you in my thoughts, and I pray for your whole family to have peace.

((you))

:)

 
At 11/8/08 4:21 pm, Blogger Karen said...

That is such a beautiful collage, and your mother was such a beautiful woman. A new baby is just what's needed at a difficult time like this--a reminder of the joys still to be experienced.

 
At 12/8/08 4:45 am, Blogger Judy Merrill-Smith said...

What a lovely card your sister made! (And what a lovely baby you were!) I hope that writing about your grief is helping you. It is poignant, strong, beautiful stuff.

 
At 13/8/08 1:58 am, Blogger Thimbleanna said...

Isn't it amazing how life does go on? I remember when I was little and my grandmother died. After about three days, I wondered if anyone was ever going to smile again. Ever. I think our mourning patterns have changed a bit because of people like your mother and now instead of mourning you so often see a celebration of life. Births, deaths and everything in between are all so amazing. And thanks for your kind comments on my blog too!

 
At 13/8/08 2:23 am, Blogger Inland Empire Girl said...

I love the collage card. What a lovely way to combine the memories. I am glad she wanted bright colors! Take time for peace for yourself.

 
At 16/8/08 2:23 pm, Blogger Stacy said...

That's a lovely collage.

Nice to see a life well-lived. My thoughts are with you.

Thanks for your comment on my Sunday Scribblings post. I do have some plans for the week. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

 
At 17/8/08 11:08 pm, Blogger Rosa said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We all have our ways to mourn and I don't believe there is a right way or wrong. You are doing your mother proud by just being you and living. I'm sure she is looking down upon you with a big smile. hugs.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home