Originally Blogging the Artist's Way. Thoughts, musings, experience of the 12-week course, January to March 2006. And after that?.... Life, creativity, writing. Where does it all meet? Here, perhaps.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Truth

I've learnt a lot about myself and about life since my marriage ended more than 5 years ago. I've learnt to accept a lot about myself, and one of those things is that I have my own timing on certain tasks, and it's not right or wrong. It just is how it is. In my own good time, I become ready to do something that last week, last month or last year I wasn't ready to do. Why? Dunno.

And the mystery is that some of the things I put off don't seem to be particularly hard tasks. Some of the things I've accomplished were monumental (to me, at least). One of the things I've been really slow at dealing with was the change of my name from my married name back to my single name. I've been doing it by degrees. First (and fairly quickly), in common usage, I reverted to my name. It was easily done, as during my marriage I'd gone by a double-barrelled surname (Myname-Hisname), so I only had to drop the Hisname part, and I introduced myself in that way immediately after we'd parted.

Not so very long ago, I had the phone and electricity company change the billing-name to mine. I'd anticipated "Oh... we have to close the account and open a new one. That will be a €€€€€ connection fee..." But no. They were very human. "Yes, Madam. We can do that for you."

When I set about opening bank-accounts in my name, I ran into the difficulty of all my ID being in my married name, so I had to still use that, but I was able to revert my signature to the single name.

And the ID - my passport, my driving licence... well, they'd come up for renewal, wouldn't they? Sometime ... The passport did come up for renewal this spring, and I did it. I got my new passport - and it had its maiden voyage when we went to Paris for the May weekend.

So... Driving licence. Well, you know, it's not due to be renewed for another 2 years. But maybe, since I'm now travelling on a passport in the name of Ms Myname, a Driving licence in the name of Ms Myname-Hisname might be queried in the USA - being as they're especially vigilant about documentation and all that these days, so maybe, maybe I should change it?

That's what I was thinking. And then, today, when I went to pay my car-tax, I found myself in the same office as the driving-licence desk. I almost left. And then, I thought... go ask about it.

Me: My driving licence isn't due for renewal, but I've changed my name. It's not possible to just do that, is it?

Lady at desk: Oh, yes, if you bring in photo ID like your passport showing the new name.

Me: I suppose I'd have to go get photos taken, though.

Lady at desk: No. We can use the photo that's on your current licence.

Me: Oh. Ok.

Lady at desk: So, if you come back with your passport...

Me: I have it here.

Lady at desk: Right. You just sign this slip of paper in your name, give me your licence, let me take a copy of your passport, and that's that.

Me: So, how much will that cost then?

Lady at desk: Nothing. You're not renewing your licence. We're just making a little change. That will be in the post to you on Wednesday.


It only took five-and-a-half years ..... and three minutes!

Oh... and the bank tell me they can change my name now any time I want. That's the last frontier, and I will cross it before the summer's out!

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At 16/6/08 7:12 pm, Blogger Becca said...

First, congratulations for taking these final steps. They might seem small, but in reality they can be very big emotional obstacles.

Secondly, I'm amazed at how relatively easy it was for you to accomplish this. The US is known for being a bureaucratic nightmare, and it's quite true. It's a monumental task to change names over here, making it all the harder for women in similar situations as yours.

At 17/6/08 12:27 am, Blogger Judy Merrill-Smith said...

Amazing how accommodating the world can be, isn't it? Hurray!

At 17/6/08 12:32 am, Blogger Robbin with 2 B's! said...

You remind me of myself so much, I put things off sometimes and after I finally do it, I think "That was easy! Why did I wait so long to do that?"
I'm glad you got it done now, feels great when you accomplish even little things. Taking care of business things like that I hate. TCB, that I believe was Elvis's motto. I'm afraid it isn't mine. At least not in a timely manner.

At 17/6/08 8:27 am, Blogger Caroline said...

Timing is one of those things isn't it... everything has its season... and name changing is big stuff... we wrap our whole identity up in it...

You've done really well and I think you've done it really quickly too!

At 17/6/08 4:26 pm, Blogger Karen said...

As you became more able to handle the change, the universe quietly accomodated you--how wonderful!

At 17/6/08 5:07 pm, Blogger Alexander M Zoltai said...

Seems to me that your willingness to go-with-the-flow in your "decision-making" led you to supportive officials.

I can only imagine (well, more than just imagine...) the response of those officials to a full on frontal assault...

~ Alex

At 18/6/08 3:41 am, Blogger Amber said...

Good for you.

My mom gave me hername-dadsname when I was born, so i had to get married to change it to just one name. lol


At 18/6/08 2:44 pm, Anonymous robin bird said...

i don't so much put things off as do things so slow they might be considered as put off to some people :)i mean i choose to accomplish many things immediately and others i take hours, days, months or years not completing a task that i truly want to do. i make myself crazy sometimes! but i like how you talked about accepting your timing of things. my mother always told me i was slower than molasses in january. my dad too. and yet in truth i like how i am. it is just my way to go slow. i tell myself i do not need to walk at someone else's pace. it isn't easy though...people want me to speed up. it's nice to go ahead and be yourself. 5 years isn't so long in the grand scheme of things :)

At 18/6/08 11:49 pm, Blogger Naturegirl said...

Well congratulations to you (((Ms.Yourown name!))) You are an inspiration to many women!
Thank you for your sweet comment on my ~rose post!~

At 19/6/08 4:22 am, Blogger Tammie Lee said...

Yes! Now never change your name again! Unless you want to. Ha.
It is good to have all your names in order if you are entering the U.S.! I live here, and I live close to Canada. Tis easy for me to enter Canada with simply my driver's license. Still to come back into my country, the USA, I need a passport. So it is not only you in other countries. we go through the same hassle! Ugh.

At 20/6/08 1:28 pm, Anonymous tinker said...

How wonderful that things worked out so easily, once you were ready for them to happen!
Happy Summer to you~

At 22/6/08 4:25 pm, Blogger Tammie Lee said...

Just want to say hi. I look for you on Sunday Scribblings and you are not there "yet". So I imagine, maybe you are off enjoying your day, I hope so.

At 24/6/08 9:27 pm, Blogger Julie said...

What - no red tape? I can't believe it!


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