Friday Feast

FIRST: If you haven't yet read my post about Jen Ballantyne, please do. She's an incredible woman who needs help, support, caring, prayers, people to witness her experience of cancer. Thank you
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Appetizer Invent a new flower; give it a name and describe it.
(That's hard: All the good ones have been done already!) Ok. I love tubular-shaped flowers, so I'd create some really sweetly scented white tubular-shaped flowers, growing on slender stalks, a little like harebells, delicate and pretty. It will be a surprisingly long-lasting cut flower, and as the flower ages, a pink blush will take over the white. I'll call it Evening Blossom.

Soup Name someone whom you think has a wonderful voice. Guy Clark can cause chills up my spine. Bob Dylan too.

Salad On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how clean do you keep your car? I'm afraid I come in at about 3. I don't go to the car-wash often enough. What I notice is that after I go to the car-wash, I always have to drive on roads that are being dug up, and the car just gets all dirty again. Inside, I keep it fairly tidy. Nothing goes bad there. But there might be a pair of walking boots thrown behind my seat. There will be a scarf or gloves somewhere. There might be parking labels scattered on the dashboard, and a coffee-cup waiting a couple of days to be disposed of. Ok, is that 1? 2?

Main Course How do you feel about poetry? I love poetry. I'm (ahem) a published poet. I wrote a poem about "Why I Love Poetry" and posted it HERE. I don't often read a book of poems from cover to cover. I love to dip in and out. For a while a great online group called "Poetry Thursday" was responsible for much of what happened on my blog. I still miss it. Sorry you asked?

Dessert What was the last person/place/thing you took a picture of? The photos I posted HERE after my trip last weekend around places I used to visit some years ago. The actual last picture was the one of the Celtic Cross.
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Want to check out more Friday Feasts? Go HERE. Want to see the beautiful painting I've had made of my dog? Go HERE

Outing with the Sisters

First: If you haven't yet read my post about Jen Ballantyne, please do. She's an incredible woman who needs help, support, caring, prayers, people to witness her experience of cancer. Thank you.

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Yesterday, my sisters and I had an outing we've long been promising ourselves. They travelled to Dublin from Limerick by train, and I headed across the country by bus to meet them and spend the day as tourists in the capital city. We realised we spend time travelling in other countries together, visiting museums, gardens, etc. and we have hardly seen a fraction of what our own country has to offer, so the plan was to see what we could in a day.

A day like that has to start with coffee. Good coffee. It did! Fortified, we set off on the Luas

A stroll down the quays, across the river and we arrived at Christ Church Cathedral.

Of the three of us, only one had previously visited. So in we went. An absolutely beautiful, history-steeped place, with an atmosphere of peace and tranquility. I lit candles for any of you who need healing and peace of heart and mind.

From there, a gentle stroll, and we found ourselves in Dublin Castle, but the Castle itself wasn't our true goal. We were ready for lunch, and I knew the secret of the Chester Beatty Library (Well... one of the secrets!). It has an amazing restaurant - the Silk road Cafe, where excellent Mediterranean and middle-eastern food is available at very reasonable prices. So, we had a wonderful lunch, and then we proceeded to explore the library. If you ever visit Dublin, you MUST, MUST see this. Last year, one of the highlights of my trip to San Francisco was a visit to the Asian Art Museum there. Well, on a smaller scale, here is a gem to compare with that.

Quoting from their website: "The Library's exhibitions open a window on the artistic treasures of the great cultures and religions of the world. Its rich collection from countries across Asia, the Middle East, North Africa and Europe offers visitors a visual feast. Chester Beatty Library was named Irish Museum of the year in 2000 and was awarded the title European Museum of the Year in 2002." Follow the link to the website. Browse. See some of what enthralled us.

Their roof-garden is a treasure. Their cakes are treasures. Their gift-shop contains postcards, even wrapping-paper that are treasures!

Did I mention that the Chester Beatty library has to be seen??? (And, while you're welcome to make a contribution to upkeep, entrance is free!)

After perusing the treasures of the galleries, we had cake and coffee, and set off on the next part of our adventure. A bus-hop to Glasnevin, where the National Botanic Gardens lie. Being still relatively early in spring, we didn't expect to find much in flower, but we were delighted, as we got off the bus, to be greeted with a waft of the most delicious scent. Outside the gates, beds had been planted with Stocks, one of our mother's all-time favourite flowers. What a welcome! It is indubitably true that a visit in summer would offer a whole lot more in the way of colour and flower, but we didn't have crowds to contend with, and there are beautiful beds of primulas, some of the plum trees are flowering, we could admire the layout of the gardens, and we spent plenty of time in the wonderful glasshouses - cactus house, tropical plant house, tender plant house, and we saw plenty of wonderful plants. By the time we'd made our way back to the city, we were ready for just a little retail therapy. Bookshop for two of us, while the other went in search of beachtowels and sarongs for her upcoming sun holiday.

We finished the day at another national institution. Burdocks Fish and Chip shop - the best Chips in Dublin! Aaah! Satisfaction at a great day. We parted on Jervis Street. Two heading north to the train station, me heading south to the bus-station.

Is there a city near you that you could visit in a day that might have treasures you haven't yet explored? I'm really glad we gave a day to this outing, and it is set to be an annual event from now on!

Helping Jen

There is a blog I've been reading since some time in February. (Is it only little over a month since I first encountered Jenni Ballantyne?) I met her through Jen Lemen, who posted about a question her friend was asking: What would you do if you knew you had only 12 months left to live? This was posted, not as some philosophical exercise, but as a genuine question, looking for answers that might help Jenni find the best and healthiest ways for her to approach the coming year, in which she has been told, she will die. She has stage 4 colon cancer, and no hope of surgical success. She's on chemo right now, and you have probably seldom (perhaps never) met a braver or brighter spirit than hers.

Some of her friends have started a project to raise funds to help. Bella explains that they want "...friends to come together to raise funds to help pay for her treatment and those forms of care and pain management that will not be covered by insurance: acupuncture, massage, naturopath, etc.., as well as create a trust for her son. We are calling on all of you to join us, to come together in solidarity, to cook up some magic and in the most practical of ways." Details of the project are HERE. (that is the important link in all of this). Jeni has two sons, one grown - Jamie, and she is lone parent to a sweet little boy called Jack. Here is what she says about overcoming her discomfort and embarrassment at accepting this help.

"We can all use help at some time in our lives, we are none of us an island and I would like to be an example of how to graciously accept and allow people to help me and my family during what is the most heart wrenching time of my life. I am choosing to listen to the parts of me that know that people want to help, normal healthy people like to feel they can do something to ease another's suffering, it is something within the human spirit that is compelled to reach out when someone is doing it hard, I love this quality that we possess, it is so human and so beautiful."

Although she had asked, I felt overwhelmed by her "What would you do...?" question. I didn't know how to answer. One day, during some down-time at work, I took a couple of pages and wrote by hand - for myself - a reflection on her question. I haven't re-read that until now. But now seems an appropriate time to post it, to honour her for her courage in asking the question, and in facing it for herself. This was my response:

A woman whose time in this life is short asked the question: 'If you knew you had 12 months left to live, how would you spend your time?' There is no quick answer. I have no way of knowing whether my answer would be really true. I can say what I'd like to think I would do, but if it came to it, maybe my pain would be such that I'd spend the time curled in my bed, weeping. Maybe my anger would be such that I would rage and rage, alienating all those with whom I say now I would want to spend that time.

So I ask myself instead - if my time was even shorter, if I had weeks, not months left, what would I be glad about from the past year? - What would I say "I'm so happy I got to do that!" about?

If my time was really short, and I was looking back over the past year, I'd be glad, glad, glad for the time I spent with people I love. I'd be glad I drove 10 hours to have lunch with my son on his 21st birthday. I'd be glad that when I went back to my home-town for weekends, tempting as it was to stay with sisters or brothers, I opted to stay with my Dad, have our predictable, quiet conversations, move about the house, each respecting the other's space, likes and dislikes. I'd be really glad that I was there for my nephew's wedding in July, and my sister's in September. I would be glad that I didn't react impulsively at times when misunderstandings arose with people I care about - that I managed to leave the space for talk, the space where we could meet and resolve the issue and go forward. I'd be glad for the grace that brought me release from feelings of bitterness over the end of my marriage. I'd be glad to think of my former husband, to hold the good memories of our marriage, and that I'd released the bad.

I would be so happy that I went to California, that I spent time with my friend Pam, that I didn't give in to the voice that told me not to be "a bother, an intrusion", but allowed myself to trust that her invitation was genuine, that ours is a friendship that is real. I'd be really glad that I gave myself the gift of time alone on that trip, that I adventured and explored to just a bit past my comfort-zone. I'd be glad too that I made so many great new friends.

I'd be really happy to think of the contacts I've made through blogging - the wonderful true, tangible connections between hearts that have been forged through opening up - letting my self appear, and trusting that what I say will be received in the right spirit.

I'd be glad I took my job, glad I maintained my integrity, spoke up for myself, held firm when I needed to. I'd be so happy that I'd had a chance to do this work - being with young people in times of distress, supporting them, letting them know there is a place where they'll be heard, and witnessing the miracle of change when it happens. The sense of privilege and honour would be with me.

I'd be glad I didn't worry about money. I'd be glad I spent some on making my home a comfortable space. I'd be glad I travelled. I'd be so glad, so glad, that I let SoulCollage be such a passion. The way in which it has helped me become more of my true self, become able to feel ok about the many parts of myself, has been the miracle of the past few years in my life. And the great gift was in my La Loba card - the gathering of all the bits in one ceremony that truly celebrated me.

If my life was ending soon, and I didn't have time left to plan anything else, I'd be so glad that this was the last year of my life: the year I had a birthday party in my own house, the year I let go of my woundedness, the year I made new friends and did what I could to keep up contact with old friends.

I'd be glad that I got to sit with my mother, to feed her her supper, rub cream on her hands, brush her hair, and tell her that I love her and miss her. I'd be glad that I've said prayers with her. I'd be glad for every prayer I've said, and every word of The Writings I've read. I'd be glad that I spent time at Feasts and Study Circle.

If the past year had been the last year of my life, I'd be glad to say that in that year, there's so little I regret. I'd be sorry I gave myself a hard time about my weight, hid in dull-coloured clothes, stayed away from the swimming-pool. I'd regret any moment of guilt I felt, and self-blame. I'd be glad for whenever I took responsibility, and really glad for the challenges to which I answered "Yes".

I'd be glad that I met Jen, and witnessed her courage, and that I heard her question. I'd be really glad that it led me to this answer.

What matters is the people: not the paypacket or the stuff, not even the places. I am one of the people, one of the special people in my own life. I'm glad, so glad for the friends who've been in my life, the meals we've shared and the books we've passed from hand to hand. I'm glad that in my family, there is no estrangement, no unresolved disputes: that we are there for one another. I'm glad that my son is ploughing his own furrow, making his own choices, safe in the knowledge that whatever he does, I love him. I love him unconditionally, and always will.
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If you cannot answer Jen's question, can you answer mine? If this past year had been your last year on earth, what in it would have left you glad at the end?