Originally Blogging the Artist's Way. Thoughts, musings, experience of the 12-week course, January to March 2006. And after that?.... Life, creativity, writing. Where does it all meet? Here, perhaps.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Check-In Week 6.

This week hasn't felt as dramatic or full of issues as last week. A quiet week, with some thinking going on about the Blog over the past few days. I haven't told anyone at all in my life that I have a blog. Strange? In ways, I think it's like finding it easier to read my poetry to a roomful of strangers than to read when one person, or a couple of close friends ask me to. Shyness hits with people I know rather than strangers. It's especially on my mind because my sister is going to be visiting over the next few days, and part of me is inclined to "come out" to her, and I'm not sure about it. I really admire the people who obviously have their blog just integrated into their entire life. I stumbled into this without really knowing how comfortable it might be (or uncomfortable) in terms of privacy and exposure, and am still ambivalent about the whole thing. Anyone else finding this to be a dilemna for them?

That was probably part of the answer to question 4, although it's specifically about the Blog, rather than AW process, so maybe I need to be checking on 5 questions, with the 5th being any issues on the Blog process?

(1) - Morning Pages 7/7. Have I used them to think about creative luxury? I don't know. I write, and I mostly forget what I filled those 3 pages with. Yes, this morning I was bemoaning the excessive cost of one of my dreams, and looking at alternative ways of getting the same thing. Beyond that, not sure about this question.

(2) Artist Date? Phew, by the skin of my teeth (early this evening), I got in an Artist Date. Went to see Chicken Little, and really enjoyed it. I resisted the temptation to change my mind and go to a grown-up movie, and the temptation to invite a young friend along. It was great fun. I didn't get to the pottery-painting place - although I did try. It was full up all week because the schools were closed for mid-term and lots of Mums were occupying the little darlings with creative play. Next week, when they're all back at school, I will bring my sister there, and we'll both paint something. (Yes, I will have a date alone, too) Have I thought of doing two? Well, that was the plan for last week, but it didn't quite come off. I'm just glad I did one.

(3) Synchronicity? Some small things, but interesting, too. More about timing than anything, like being tapped on the shoulder as a reminder of small but important things. For instance:
- I went to the grocery store, and there was a dear friend standing at the fruit stall with a mango in her hand! - Well, after my pineapple experience, I just felt like I was being told "Yes, go on, take it" - Tomorrow's breakfast will be a mango, raspberry, banana smoothie!
- Reading the task about dumping tatty clothes, I thought "Oh, well, I dumped 4 bags in weeks 4 and 5. I've nothing tatty left", then I glanced at my sleeve. Yes, the cuff of my old favourite cream cotton jumper was gone ragged, but it's cosy... I like it... all the excuses to hold onto it came up. But there was nothing for it. When I took it off that night, instead of the laundry basket, I dumped it! Liberation!
- One of the blogs I enjoy a lot is Lorianne's. Last week, she announced she was coming to Ireland for a weekend. I felt a strong urge to suggest she go visit Glendalough, but then felt that was bossy, so I didn't, and I kept thinking, if she stays in the city, she'll miss someplace she really should visit... Well, she did get there, and posted beautiful pictures and anamazing post about the monuments there. I think this just reminded me to trust and follow those intuitions.
- Linked into the Money theme, the chapter said to say Yes to freebies, and I wondered how often do freebies come my way? - Well this week, a few times. I was at a volounteer meeting during the week, and was told we were being paid expenses for attending, - just like that! Then, later in the week, I had a call from a woman who works in the local Arts Centre, and in the course of conversation, she offered me two free tickets for tomorrow night's concert of middle-eastern music (which I love). See? Freebies are out there.

(4) Other Issues. Maybe this is more of that shyness, but I know I didn't do the 5 postcards task last time around either, and this time, I pulled out a pack of cards, got the addresses of two people I'd like to get in touch with, and thought about another 3. OK. 5 names. Yes. And I couldn't write the cards. It's only tonight it becomes clear what this is. It's a feeling that to write to a friend because someone told me to do it seems artificial, false, and to write to five all at once - a BATCH of friendship... even more false. I realise what I could be comfortable with is sending one a week, making a practice of it weekly, so that is what I will be doing.

This week, for some reason, the abundance theme really centred around food for me. There is the fruit, of course, and on Friday, there was a marathon cooking-session for the freezer. Stew, soup, ratatouille... chop, stir, simmer, mmmm. I didn't go gather rocks, but appreciated those I have on my kitchen window-sill. The weather was so rotten, there was very little other than rain-sodden leaves, and precious few flowers I would have picked ( the little just-emerging baby daffodils? No!), so I just appreciated those where they are, too. In their pots outside my kitchen window.

I can't believe there are 6 weeks past. In some ways it's like I'm just getting into the swing, and in others, maybe I'm slacking off, losing momentum, coasting. There isn't the same sense of excitement I felt in the initial phase, but here I am. And as I was preaching last week, maybe there is stuff happening under the surface. Yeah.


At 19/2/06 5:14 pm, Blogger Kara said...

Hi Greenishlady - It seems from my perspective that things are definitely happening under the surface. I think it is tempting to get addicted to the drama of this Artist's Way process and then think we are losing momentum when there isn't all the flash and bang.

I can relate to the blog issue - my sister knew of my blog from about day three and I was glad I shared it with her because she ended up doing the AW too - which has been a very nice unintended outcome of my blog. I've shared it with a few friends and have had mixed results with that. Some have seemed supportive and some have not really given me any feedback at all. So I continually go back to myself and reaffirm to myself why I am doing my blog and what it means to me regardless of what anyone else thinks. In yoga we are always doing poses to our own edge not worrying about how our pose is in comparison with others. When I go to far beyond my edge then there is pain and so it is with my blog - I have to find my edge constantly.

I love your photo and I'm proud of you for going to see Chicken Little. Hope your mango was delicious! Oh there is so much I could comment on - I just love reading it all. Thanks so much for all you share as it really helps me.

At 20/2/06 5:21 am, Blogger eliza said...

with all that synchronicity, it does sound like things are happening, under the surface or right out in the open. results! with or without drama, that must be something.

i set up my blog for the purposes of this program and being in this group. there are posts i'd like to share with some others, but since i don't feel comfortable sharing all of it and it's all linked together, i don't. well, my brother knows about it and checks in on it sometimes, which i feel comfortable with - i gave him the link early on before i really thought it through. i'm trusting him to keep it to himself, though. my husband doesn't read it because he feels he should give me my privacy, which i appreciate. i just filled out my profile page and posted a picture of myself, though, so just today i've been feeling a little more exposed.

so i know exactly what you mean about sharing with strangers! i feel quite comfortable within the group but i don't really want my blog to be found by others who know me. of course, that may be because of my policy of nearly-full disclosure. sigh. anyway, this question is up for me, too.

At 20/2/06 10:03 pm, Blogger Mary-Sue said...

i appreciated your comments on my blog!!! thank you!
and i'm curious... what is AW?

At 21/2/06 1:04 am, Blogger In Otter Space said...

For me sharing my blog with others is no big deal. What I write in my journal is private but what I put out on the net, well it is more of my public self. Even the time I commented about my spirited son b/c anyone who knows me in real life knows my son is a handful so....

I agree it is easier in some ways to share here then it would be in a room of people who know me. Maybe because of physical presence?

Interesting my other blog (X365) is a bigger deal for me to share with family. I did read a few to my mom the other day (she doesn't have a computer) but there were a few I knew I couldn't read to her b/c of the family shame game.

I say who cares? It is the truth as I see it. Maybe my filter is broken?

At 21/2/06 4:55 am, Blogger Joy Eliz said...

At first I didn't tell anyone that I had a blog. I was worried that they would read my deepest thoughts and think 'oh my god, she's crazy' But then I started to get so many nice, positive comments I realized that I was ok and the feeling I was expressing were very common among other bloggers like me.
I almost think that it has improved my relationship with my family because they read things I would never tell them. They ask me lots of positive questions about things that I love to talk about.

At 21/2/06 8:07 am, Blogger liz elayne said...

i just "came out" in the blog sense to a few friends and...cue scary mother. i decided that i want to integrate these two areas of my life. of course, my mother hasn't emailed back to say "yes, i visited your blog" etc....
the momentum with ebbs and flows doesn't it? but i think that is what just happens. i hope that this week flows a bit more for me. and thank you for the reminder to dig out some post cards...a good idea.

At 22/2/06 2:10 pm, Blogger Sky said...

Interesting to read your post about the AW process and the anonymity of your blog. I knew nothing about the AW until recently encountering it via the blogs of those involved. It sounds like an interesting program.

I send out the url of my blog to those with whom I want to share it as the feeling strikes. Some friends have it and some don't. My sister has had it from the beginning.

I tend to censor myself to some degree when posting, aware of the choice to enter the most personal but knowing I can journal it privately should I select to. That decision depends on how I feel at the moment. I am relatively new at blogging.

I hope you enjoy your creativity exercises and the time you will spend with your sister. It sounds like this process is good for opening you up to YOU!

At 25/2/06 5:55 pm, Blogger tess said...

This is such a meaty post, Greenishlady! Thank you for sharing all of this.

I first read it a while ago, and it got me thinking about privacy issues even more than I already was. This is a big issue for me. Like you, I kind of stumbled into this blog thing and am very much feeling my way along in terms of how much to reveal. I am a strange mix: a friend dubbed me a tell-all "gusher" sort, and that is definitely what I feel like doing in the blog context.

But it is very tricky. I am so used to presenting myself in different ways to different people. That's part of the whole issue of calling my blog "Chameleon Chronicles". I am trying to learn to integrate the different aspects of myself and to feel more unified in who I am and how I present myself. I purposely told a few friends that I would not have considered telling about the blog--just to push myself "out there". But I have not told a new friend, nor my family (except my husband who does not read my blog), nor business friends. Also, I, and my husband in particular, have issues about how much I should share in terms of safety. I have a public web site for my business and worry a little about someone knowing where I live, etc. (My husband had a scary incident in his past of someone invading his life in a dangerous way--though not connected to the Internet.)

But part of me just wants to blow through all of that and say: Here it is! This is what I am. Whatever!

For now, I will just wade through and see how it all goes. For the most part, opening up more and more feels empowering. I think it's a matter of finding the delicate balance that works for each of us. Good luck on your journey. Each bit of your opening up brings healing and enlightenment to me and to so many others. Thank you for having the courage to share!


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