Originally Blogging the Artist's Way. Thoughts, musings, experience of the 12-week course, January to March 2006. And after that?.... Life, creativity, writing. Where does it all meet? Here, perhaps.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

When you come to the End of a Perfect Day - Sunday Scribblings - "Wedding"

This Week's prompt from Sunday Scribblings, in honour of the wonderful Megg, who is being married soon, is "Wedding". How often do I begin my scribblings with a ramble about how I didn't think I'd be writing anything on that prompt, and then....? I really didn't think I'd be writing anything this week. Well... my marriage didn't endure, and so I'm often inclined to use the "F-word" about it... No, not THAT F-word. - But "Failure". After 19-and-a-half years, my marriage "failed".

But, but, but... it succeeded in so many ways. Our vows - the ones that mattered to me, the ones from our Baha'i ceremony - were not "til death do us part", but that we would abide by the Will of God. And for reasons I may never fathom, that seems to have been that we should be a couple for long enough to have our son, to raise him in love and unity, and that then, we should part.

Our wedding was on 30th July 1983. At the end of the evening, my father sang this song. [Listen to the YouTube version played on Victrola above]

A PERFECT DAY (1909).Words and Music by Carrie Jacobs-Bond (1862-1946), who resided in Iron River Michigan in the 1890s, until her husband died...

When you come to the end of a perfect day,

And you sit alone with your thought,

While the chimes ring out with a carol gay,

For the joy that the day has brought,

Do you think what the end of a perfect day

Can mean to tired heart,

When the sun goes down with a flaming ray,

And the dear hearts have to part?

Well, this is the end of a perfect day,

Near the end of a journey, too,

But it leaves a thought that is big and strong,

With a wish that is kind and true.

For mem'ry has painted this perfect day

With colors that never fade,

And we find at the end of a perfect day,

The soul of a friend we've made.

........................It was a perfect day. I married the man I loved.

We were surrounded by the people who loved us. My mother and his father, who have since passed away, were with us. For a very long time after our parting, I could not look at our wedding album, but I've just leafed through it and found myself feeling so happy for the joy we had on that day. There are tears too, but I have always cried at weddings.

Perhaps this might seem a strange way to wish a Bride and Groom well as they begin their life together - to reflect on a marriage that did not endure, but I hope that on their wedding day, Megg and Mark are happy, happy, happy. As happy as I was on ours.


There are more weddings over at Sunday Scribblings.

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At 28/9/08 1:17 pm, Anonymous Neilina said...

Some memories are to be cherished forever. I can feel same for you. The song is really very beautiful.

At 28/9/08 1:57 pm, Blogger Lady North said...

Hello there and blessings!
We have just celebrated my niece's Heather wedding to her Jamie and now that amazing couple is going to be backpacking their way through Europe.
Have a look at Jamie's socks for a laugh - Irish blood always tells!

At 28/9/08 2:18 pm, Anonymous judysteapot said...

Hi - thanks for sharing your memories and the song is indeed beautiful, take care love Judyx

At 28/9/08 2:51 pm, Anonymous teach said...

As you so eloquently stated, the timely union blessed you with a son. One ending leads to another beginning... In my eyes, that is not a failure... thanks for sharing... until next time-teach

At 28/9/08 4:41 pm, Blogger Blondie said...

Your post reflects your wisdom! I enjoyed my wedding day, too. At the time, I was excited and certain I was doing the right thing. The marriage lasted 14 years, and really only the last 3 were bad. I have two wonderful children as a result of that marriage, so I have no regrets. I wasn't devastated to get a divorce, rather, it was the beginning of a new path in my life that allowed me to be the mother and woman I wanted to be--was meant to be. My grandparents (now gone) and my mother (now also gone) were at that wedding. No one was missing. That, in itself, made it a good day. While I am cynical about my own ability to re-marry, I certainly wouldn't begrudge anyone else their optimism and happiness on their wedding day!

At 28/9/08 5:51 pm, Anonymous keithsramblings said...

A well thought out piece. I really believe that every marriage when it fails leaves something good behind it. Certainly, as a serial divorcee(!) that is my experience. I can't imagine life without my wonderful kids and grandchildren. And I couldn't have written my piece for SS this week!

At 28/9/08 6:29 pm, Blogger anno said...

Beautifully expressed. Just because a marriage ends does not mean that it was a failure. I think you will be glad for the tender regard you show here. It is a kindness to yourself, a respect for the way you spent 20 years of your life. I love the song! Thanks for sharing this.

At 28/9/08 7:46 pm, Blogger Granny Smith said...

This did bring tears to my eyes. "The End of a Perfect Day" was one of my father's favorite songs and is associated in my mind (and heart) with the great love my father and mother had for each other.

Thank you too for the wise realization that the past can stay happy even if the event didn't follow all of your expectations.

At 28/9/08 10:45 pm, Blogger Becca said...

Such lovely sentiments, Imelda, and I'm so glad you've gone past the painful parts and can now fondly remember the joyous ones.

I love the song too :)

At 29/9/08 2:24 pm, Blogger Tammie Lee said...

I enjoyed your open sharing with us. The song and words are wonderful.
The tale of you finding gratitude for what you got from your marriage is refreshing. Your vows were real. Life is so full of change!

At 30/9/08 1:45 am, Blogger SmallWorld at Home said...

What a beautiful post, without the expected bitterness.

At 30/9/08 7:24 am, Blogger Beautiful Witch said...

You seem very at peace, and very grateful which is a rare thing in such circumstances, but I think we can all learn from you. :)

At 1/10/08 7:49 pm, Blogger Karen said...

Yet again, you've left me teary-eyed. And I can't see how your marriage could possibly be called a failure, for all the reasons you cited.


At 2/10/08 9:58 pm, Blogger said...

you know, what struck me about the song was that you sit alone at the end of everyday. That we come here alone and we learn our own lessons and to have someone to share the journey with is amazing and teaches us how to be open and love. But really at the end of the day it is our own wisdom we have in our hearts.
I think we have people in our lives for how long our journey is going in the same direction and I only feel for people who hang on to marriages from fear of letting go and seeing what it so come next.

blessings on you and your ex and on your friends who are embarking on a wonderful journey. doesn't matter how long it lasts, it's the being there and living it that counts...

At 6/10/08 1:44 am, Blogger Amber said...

Aww, beautiful. And you looked lovely! I like your dress so much.


At 8/10/08 12:52 pm, Anonymous robin bird said...

grief is such a mystery isn't it? one day i can feel blown apart and on another i can smile and feel completely blessed. all of this without my permission. you give your marriage history high honors with this post imelda.


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